The Other Side.

Dear debate people, 

Your pay sucks. I have gone to get a real job.

Communism doesn’t pay. 

Yours unfaithfully,

******

Okay, kidding. Now that  I’ve got your attention, the ramble starts here.

There are two motivations for most people to coach debate.
A) Money: You sit down there to talk to a bunch of students for a few afternoons a month, and it easily brings in a comfortable sum, enough to provide a few luxurious meals for a small time investment. Plus, you’re usually more experienced and might even find bits of it fun.

.
B) Ego: You have something to prove. Perhaps your school debating career didn’t go as well as you wanted it to be – or you have some deep seated insecurity which needs you to reassure yourself about. Plus, you like the idea of power and taking control, and feeling superior to younger ones.

It was neither for me — because I’m HUMBLE, and I actually do have a lot to be humble about. It’s to the point that I’m proud of my humility (and I dont even have to discuss A -_-). I am underqualified to be a coach. I stopped debating in the summer of year five  - which means that 1) My debate experience was less than the people I’m coaching. 2) I have been out of action for TWO WHOLE YEARS — rusted to the max. Furthermore, their previous coach was my previous coach, which means I didn’t have much to add (as compared to when coaching AC).

It wasn’t easy. I often had to devise some smokebomb to enable myself to leave work early (often resulting in the debate people asking me, why I don’t have work/why I can be there in the afternoon. MAGICK!!!)

Then the competitions are mofo insane nowadays with what, four motions both sides. (4×2=8 sides to prep) and with two substantive speakers, (8×2 = 16 cases!!!)  what the fuck is wrong with these organisers?! They think jc students a lot of time and energy is it??? (But apparently, with the might of communism, this is the case.) Worst of all, I had to deal with quite a number of tough decision points, usually involving people. At times, I even messed up quite badly in making decisions. Other times, I stuck to what I believed was right, even against…higher advice.

So why did I do it?

1. I was bored – and needed more meaning in my two years. (Actually, on the contrary, I was very occupied trying to come up with application essays then. Funnily, time spent coaching actually helped me come up with an essay, or rather THE essay..)
2. I seem to like overloading myself, for overloading sake– its a good distraction.
3. Just because it was different.  Just because. And how many people in debate had the privilege to be exposed to a distinct school of thought. Its eye-opening and a useful learning experience.
4. Because when I was deliberating over it, I was strongly criticized for it. It triggered some instinctive response, I dunno, to prove a point or something. I don’t know really. Its hard to explain.
5. I was bribed by free food then -_-

(Note what’s missing)

But for all the hours of sleep I gave up (and bottles of beer I thinked  in order to drink up a case), I feel like it was all worth it. The tiring process was itself fulfilling (some part of me must be workaholic/insane). I learnt a lot from watching the debates – probably received more than I gave. In these debates, there often were epic hilarious moments from funny characters of various types (where do I even start!). I even learnt what it meant to root for a team, when I was previously usually indifferent to winning. Most importantly, I met a new group of friends, both younger and older. And I most definitely would not have all these if I just stuck within my usual old…yeah.

 

Looking back in a stream of consciousness ramble: I was inexplicably happy when two of the teams broke first and second for a prelims. Most angry at a certain semi-finals. A few post-competition smses meant a lot to me, especially when in my fatigued sleep-deprived state. My most favorite team was the one with the fusion format. I really liked my Call Sign for my debate shirt. I felt most awkward at a certain finals =x And my least favorite competition was NAMED AFTER A GREEK GOD (他媽的!!) _|_.    Oh, and I like prawn aglio, astons (DOUBLE), scones, mangoes, the purple tie etc etc.

I most certainly had a great time. I truly appreciate the rather unexpected opportunity that I got to help out where I could.  I think that up to a point, it was really the people that kept me going — which is why I say I don’t want to deal with the j1s: they’re not part of the bunch I started off with. I wished I had a bit more time till the season ended (which would have been the case if everything went according to MY plan i.e. start work in June). And I definitely wished that I could have done more, that I could have been more capable and impactful, and simply done a better job.

I also should have told the people who went off to netherlands a week ago — but hey, it just didn’t feel right to spoil the festive tea party mood then. I spent a fair bit of the night waiting for the right moment, and the bulk of the time just being plain wtf in the head.

The arrangement is that: I can help out with prep from the comfort of my home and internet, depending on how busy I am. And I’ll come by here and there,  when my schedule permits – and depending on who’s involved =P I’ll be mainly damn packed till this summer.

I wish you all the best for the remaining competitions, and more importantly — everything after that. Because while debate might be an essential part of one’s intellectual journey, there is so much more to life than debate, competitions, and petty allegiances.

Take care.
***

Wanted to end off by copying and pasting an excerpt of my essay, but realised that each and every paragraph contained politically incorrect/offensive material (What possessed me to write this to a SCHOOL, omg). Lets just say that the title of the essay is the same as this post, and its first line?

I sat on the wrong side of a debate final…

 

Behavioral economics is real.

I know for one that the sunk cost fallacy isn’t really a fallacy for me. Generally, the moment I put in time/money/effort in anything, I’ll make sure I fucking go and finish it — even if it results in wasting more of my time/money/effort. It’s probably why I sometimes just cannot take myself out of a sian situation, and it just drags out for damn long.

But I never knew that making a mistake could have such an impact on the decision making process. Rational people are supposed to fix their mistakes, rather than continue with it. The best part is that a few months ago, I could even rationalize that I was making yet another mistake, and I actually told myself that I should be doing this this and this.

But why am I rambling about this? Because in retrospect, I could be one thousand two hundred dollars richer right now.

Do you know how many bowls of ramen that is?

Karmic confusion.

I had a very bewildered expression on my entire night trip home today. Feeling like I’m in a slight daze – or more politely put, my mind is full of fuck, as though salvador dali paid me a visit and took a shit in my letterbox. It still hasnt fully hit me yet. Its a bit too much for one night. Its not so much the subject matter by themselves, but the flurry of thoughts after.

But its bizarre contemplative moments like this, that I feel -

 

Awkward moment

The awkward moment when you realise you actually miss and would rather hang out with your friends from the workplace than…..

actually, i rather see the debate people also — who are now happily having fun on a Bhutan “educational trip” (euphemism for holiday.)

Maybe not the someone who is dancing around naked in the room though. That’s just disturbing… D:

D:

束手待死

I originally logged onto wordpress to publicise how my SOAS friend accidentally referred to himself as African, rather than Oriental (when I teased that he could pass off as both). But thats actually quite boring. Something else caught my attention. Something that seems like scenario planning (in the manner of a Sherlock Holmes movie fight), but probably something taken from experience.

 

今昔對比

Normally, I try not to share/repost these webcomics even though I really really want to sometimes. But for this one. My god, been there. Thought about it. Thought about it hard. And even tried almost all seven options available and more before. I must have really been asked that quite a lot)

I’ve still no answer. …Or do I?

What’s next?

My two years in the Alternative Reality of the Missing Years have ended.

I wouldn’t be like those people who (a) spent all their time whining about IB on their blog/wall, and then (b) whine about how their life feels aimless and meaningless after IB exams. I will inevitably be sentimental, but I plan to do neither (a) nor (b). In fact, I’ll elaborate on how awesome I am, a bit of what I learnt, and the general feeling of parting.

I was never in a rush, surprisingly. It was mundane at times, but I never really did feel the strong urge to finish –  apart from a few times. Either I was in a genuinely comfortable situation (which I probably was), or I have the talent of contentment (which is probably also true). But it finally has ended. And as usual, it still has not exactly completely hit me that something has just finished.

Maybe it’s because the end was a bit too gradual. By now, I’ve already been idling for the past month. Today may have officially been my last day, but effectively, everything just stopped when I took a break to go for pro cup, and went for my ‘extended korean holiday’. I haven’t had a full work day since I came back from my three week break. In fact, nothing has really happened since. On balance, more time was spent living as though I was already free. Uhhh hence, the excitement of liberation has already been diluted over the past one month plus — but nonetheless I feel this great glee in being free.

But today was a point of no return. I know it would be a long while before I even set foot in that place I spent so much of my time of. From the rewarding times to the humbling ones, fragments of my time there just kept resurfacing in my mind. I have done a lot of things that I would not have otherwise done, met people I would not have met, and even got a tan.  Its hard to precisely explain what exactly I have gained from my two years – but the fact is I have.

On a few occasions, it brought out the worst in me. It taught me the uses and abuses of power. Yet, at the same time, it taught me the limits and costs of it. For most of it, I felt that it made me more aware of what I could and could not do.  In a paradoxical fashion, the nature of my job made me more humble, yet at the same time have a greater sense of pride. Many a times, I was pushed to tight corners of decision-making and weighing priorities under time constraints. It wasn’t easy, and I probably will never know if I made the right choice sometimes — there probably isn’t a right choice.

(Paragraph about how good my life was – removed. No, really -_-)

I would most certainly miss my swimming pool – the place where I picked up swimming again, because I had to organize some swim event. But more importantly, I will miss the people I spent my time with. All the way to the very last moment, I didn’t feel a need to leave early. I could have, but I didn’t because of my friends. It was my last few moments with them. As I left the place at the end of the day, there was this lingering bittersweet feeling. In a sentiment of self-indulgence, I perhaps left a gap in each of the various social groups — which I attribute to having lunch/tea with them in small groups of no more than three people. Nothing really makes me tremble a bit inside than the parting — especially long term partings. I’ll probably see a few of them again, but for most of them – the sad reality is that it probably wouldn’t be the case, much as I enjoyed their company.

But that’s that. I will gladly be moving on – I have to. There are better things to do with my life. And like most years I would probably forget most of it once the new year proper begins.

So now I’m free — what’s next?

…….a lot of stuff, my god. I think it’s called Life. I think it’s called the Real World :O

***

Here’s a short less-than-800-characters write-up about my community that I did a few months ago (and I almost, but fortunately didn’t, wrote about the debate community instead. How insipid would that have been!) Censors added.

A hacker who sued Inland Revenue, a drummer who renounced his faith, a chef who made a flamethrower, and a multilingual scam artist, have lunch with me regularly. As we casually discuss Wikileaks, and whether lunatics go to heaven, it almost sounds like __. But it’s just my __ friends.

Our homogeneous uniform masks our diversity. There’s even an international flavor of Burmese, Filipinos and Canadians (Yes, this is the __ __). Two years in this community made me think beyond the sanitized bubble of school. How often would I have otherwise hung out with ex-convicts, the dropout moonlighting to pay for his mother’s surgery, and a farmer who knows Kung Fu? There is so much of the world that school did not reveal to me. 

WIN.

New Year’s Resolution

Everyone loves Christmas. Its more awesome than New Year’s Day, because Christmas is like the Friday night of the entire year. It marks the start of everyone’s favorite week. The week where you either don’t go to office, or show up at a half-empty one because even your boss and your boss’ boss is on a vacation. New Year’s Day is like the Sunday night of the year, preceding the Monday blues. It marks the end of the holiday — which makes me wonder what the hell is so happy about happy new year.

****

Okay, I normally don’t do this New Year’s Resolution thing — if you refer to my posts over the past three years, there was no such thing. Generally, I think that 31/12/x isn’t much different from 01/01/x+1. The sad reality is that if you were an incompetent and hopeless the year before, one year isn’t going to change much.

But when I do have a New Year’s Resolution, its bloody hardcore. In 2008, I resolved not to skip a day of school — which I didn’t, and which is fucking amazing in acsi. No, seriously, you have no idea how many useless days/events/classes there were, and I didn’t even take an MC because of my almost jewish adherence to my resolution. (I can’t remember what the hell possessed me to make such a stupid one tho). By this point, I’m betting that nobody actually believes that there was a year where I did not miss a day of school…

But my resolution has gotten more intense. My new year’s resolution is to be able to concentrate this year. Now that sounds damn ambiguous. More importantly, its damn ambitious. It’s almost paradoxical: in order to concentrate, I’ll need to concentrate. But nonetheless, it is necessary.  Concentration is fundamental to the machinery of the mind. It is most important for efficiency, and it makes the difference between toiling aimlessly, and working effortlessly. For the next half a year at least, I’ll be damn hard-pressed for time. Either I become efficient again, or I goodlucktakecare.

I used to have some degree of this, but I completely lost it by now. In civil servant terms, I have a few KPIs to measure this. I have a half formed methodology to go about this in mind also — the most basic of it requires willpower and avoiding distractions. I probably won’t have the concentration level of a yogi, but I just need enough to get by.

But anyway, for those people planning to get a New Year’s Resolution, or already having one. Here’s a song by Mick Jagger, from the movie Alfie that stars Jude Law. Yes kids, jagger as in the mOoOoOoOooves likes jagger.

OLD HABITS DIE HARD.

Tintin in congo (like a boss)

Its another one of those white man goes to backward country and becomes a God stories.
Tintin in Congo is utterly racist, condescending and plain degrading. But it is nonetheless damn funny and entertaining — which is all that matters.

Like a boss, indeed.

The speaking style does somewhat remind me of some of my bunk mates — with phrases like “fuck he” >< It is quite hard to find a chinese (or maybe even burmese) linguistic equivalent of him and her, instead of he and she.

****

MORE IMPORTANTLY,  merry christmas everyone. If piracy is like stealing a car (except that the car is somehow still there…right), then sharing soft copies of tintin would still count as giving presents!!!! And I used to say that one of the reasons I want to make a lot of money is so that I can afford to buy the entire tintin series. For now, I have already re-read the three that I have read before as a child — which happen to be the first three of the series.

colour test of the day

over-draw

“oh yeah okay, I’m not free till week after next. But I think I’ll have a number of half days this week. I’ll only find out on the morning itself tho – let you know once I can.”

then I got home, reflected upon my day or so, and realised that I over-used this line over the past 48 hours — and I only have four days of the week to go around, assuming all are half-days.

I think banks call it over-drawing.

decluttered

The past week has been supposedly quite good. A normal day at work now involves swimming, using the gym, eating lunch and going home after lunch. But for one reason after another, from leg pain to drinking too much before sleeping to UNCANNILY dropping the aircon remote such that it undoes the timer, I had a pretty damn sleep deprived week. At the risk of sounding like a girl, I felt listless and unfocused for a large part of the week for no apparent reason. I had a low attention span that pushed me to entertain myself mindlessly with tv shows and movies; I hardly had the focus enough to read more than a few pages — which was actually what I needed to do.

It’s amazing. I just spent two hours clearing and organizing my room. For some reason, it does remind me of my one and a half years at my workplace but the important part is that it for some reason cleared my mind. At the risk of sounding gay, clearing and cleaning my room actually felt therapeutic. I feel as though I could think more straightly now, or at least could read.  (Again, at the risk of sounding gay or new-ageish) In some poetic manner, maybe the decluttering of the external environment helped to declutter my inner sanctum.

Funny – for the past two years, I also cleared my room around this time of the year. I hope I could sleep properly tonight — its been a pretty sleep deprived week.

time passing slowly meh

They say that the last three months are the slowest, and then it gets slower and slower. Not really. I have around one week left – and while I am finally consciously aware of how much time I have left, and am in some way counting down, it hasn’t changed my mood or behaviour. And I still don’t feel any sense of urgency or rush. In fact, if anything, my countdown is in the form of “number of days at the new and free swimming pool left” (of the top of my head, it is five)

But in fact, I feel that there is not enough time. Recently, there has been a lot on my mind to plan out and set order to chaos. I’m normally not accustomed to fixating my attention on more than one thing at a time – but right now, I have around five to six things on  my mind. And I plain don’t have the mood to get started on any of them yet, let alone be uber-efficient. I should start soon – but which one first?

I need to declutter my mind…soon.

an annoying recurrence

I woke up in pain. Not the faggotty metaphoric poetic sort of pain in the heart, but my usual knee hurt enough to wake me up. It wasn’t excruciating to the level of something broken, thankfully. But it was enough to keep me up for another one to two hours. It was bearable by now, but just plain annoying.

I was supposed to be over this shit. I was supposed to be fine now, and go running every weekend. This was the wrong time for it to come back – my time was ending already. I don’t need to be damaged — I didn’t ever since I left The Island actually. I had no idea why it hurt. The main thing on my mind was the horrible wait at the hospital, which was especially bad since I viscerally hate seeing doctors and visiting places of medical …stuff.  Add the long inconvenient waits of the public hospital, the annoying cost-savings that I wouldn’t have anymore, useless trainee doctors, and the fruitlessness of it all. I didn’t want any of that. Either way, I’m not going to eat any medicine this time. I hate medicine.

I’m glad I fell asleep eventually- after more than an hour, and woke up perfectly fine. …Maybe it was just a bad dream. But I’m glad it’s over – for now.

Belated November Reflections

- Always. November is a time where I wished my life was different, always.

For about five years and probably more, every November becomes a period of deep thought and reflection. That’s not very unusual from a normal day – perhaps deeper in intensity? But more strikingly, November is often -for some reason I don’t know – a time where I rethink my life and its direction. My mind almost drifts away to the same far away place each year. Often, I spend the whole month thinking about an alternative life path – and simply wished that my life was different.

Perhaps it has got to do with the time leading up to my birthday, and the time after. Or perhaps that November is a month before December, meaning close to the end but not quite there yet.

Think all I want about the past year, because come next January – which is pretty damn soon-, I will like all the years before me so far, forget more or less everything from the year before — its probably a student thing.

But that was last month. Why am I only writing this now? Because I was busy and in Korea for the later part of November.

The better question is probably: why not december? why does it stop in december? – or does it? Maybe december perpetually provides its own things to amuse me with. (I still think its got to do with my birthday)

I wonder how it’ll be next year, After all this time -?

I bought the airline.

Korea: The poorer cousin.

I just came back from Korea, where I visited various parts from the city, to the holiday island, to the snow mountains with a ski resort. In this post, I’ll be randomly piecing together impressions and experiences from my trip – some of which may be based upon disputable facts or misinformation. The rest is personal opinion.

1. Expectation vs Reality:

As usual I had low expectations, but in particular, here’s what I was expecting:

In reality….nevermind, better not to put a picture for this. The eyes are smaller, the face is rounder etc. It is quite hard to find a korean girl who is not slim though – partly due to cultural reasons (where they place a high value on maintaining their external appearance. My tour guide who is around 50 says to skip 2000 times a day) and partly due to diet – which I will go into later.

I must admit though, that the airport security women can actually pass off as TV drama serial quality characters (think Channel 8 police show)….unlike our local ones

2. Ethnic pride and purity:

You can be American or Singaporean in nationality, even if you are not American or Singaporean in ethnicity (cough). This is not the case for Korea. You almost can’t be a Korean unless you actually are Korean in every sense of the word. Citizenship is restricted to immigrants of more than three generations, rather than handing it out like a free voucher to any talented foreigner. I’m quite sure I didn’t see any Bangla worker cleaning the plane or toilet — they might be Chinese though, I’m not sure.

The main instance where I saw Chinese workers, was in the shops that were catered towards selling things to foreign visitors, mainly from China. Based on what the tour guide talked about, I gathered that the Koreans are a very nationalistic people – which makes me wonder how such a nationalistic country could be at civil war. (Yes, I thought about nationalism, USA, and even sports and the yuan, while on holiday. How unfortunate)

Random side thought: on the holiday island for the first two days, I saw more zhongguo tuan people than koreans. fml.

3.  Ginseng – the national treasure:

I can only think of one reason right now as to why I might revisit Korea in future – to buy Ginseng. Korean Ginseng is supposedly the best…say the Koreans. It probably is more reliable than Chinese Ginseng (reliable as in, being authentic and not toxic). I still wonder how Ginseng was discovered in the first place, since its a root. Must have been some desperate and suffering Korean in the icy mountain digging roots to eat.

4. Uniformity in meals:

Almost every meal, there will be a metal bowl of rice, the usual sides of kimchi and seaweed, the same metal chopsticks, and the same plastic tumbler of water. Its almost uniform. Maybe their school all taught them the same thing, or the government has some quality award thing that regulates the table layout. Most of my meals came with a hotpot with some meat. After a while, all the meals start to feel the same because of their uniformity — and the hotpots start to taste roughly the same too.

My guess is that most Koreans really just eat kim chi with rice and seaweed – hotpot with meat is an occasional thing. With such a diet, how does one become a fat girl? But at the same time, with such a diet, I’m wondering how Koreans end up so tall. The tall ones must eat a lot of kim chi. Speaking of kim chi, cabbage is freaking everywhere in the meals. I was actually looking out if there was a giant cabbage plantation around (or as they call it, kabeji). When the tour guide asked what Korea’s national flower was (after telling us about the national treasure ginseng), I almost replied cabbage. Of course it’s notm I can’t remember what it is though.

5. Accommodation:
The showers in most of the hotels I stayed in had no lock. Most toilets also came with this semi translucent window thing that could be opened easily. More strikingly, one hotel I stayed at had a full glass window with no curtains — this includes the toilet bowl, mind you. I’m like, what, this must be some Korean voyeurism thing. My dad says that the lockless toilet is about trusting whoever you’re in the room with. But by his logic, then all our toilets at home wouldn’t need locks. Its something I cannot understand. Never would I want to even leave a remote chance for someone to accidentally walk in while I shower or shit, let alone watch someone shower or shit — korean girl or otherwise.

6. Mountains and snow:
My favorite part of the trip of course. I’m proud that I climbed one of the mountains by myself. Its actually just a lot a lot of stairs, to the point that I started to feel warm and needed to take off my jacket. According to my tour guide, climb the mountain once, and you wouldn’t need to exercise for the rest of the week. Snow mountains are beautiful — never in my life, have I seen an entire surrounding of nothing but white everywhere, even the trees were white. And in this weather, there were some korean girls wearing short skirts — they must be North Koreans! And in this weather, there were also some chinese wearing shorts — they must be from Heilongjiang or Dairen!

7. Skiing:
Skiing is fun, but a bit overrated. It requires a heck lot of hassle to suit up for the skiing. It requires a heck lot more effort to try to climb back up the slope to ski down again. Most of my time was spent climbing back up, rather than skiing down the slope. As it was more difficult to take off and then re-attach the ski, I eventually decided to just push myself uphill while still on my skis — almost like skiing against gravity. Add the fact that I was trying to maximise the number of times I skiied, so I tried to do it fast. Sweating in the wintry cold of a snow mountain is probably not a good idea.

8. Swimming:
Yeah wtf, I actually went swimming after skiing. I was expecting the water to be heated. Should have taken a picture of me wearing only my trunks at a swimming pool, with the snowy mountain in the background.

9. Slush and puddles:
This is the most irritating part about the trip. I can survive without long johns, hat and gloves, but what I cannot do without is a good pair of socks and shoes….which I didn’t have. What I had was some thin Puma shoes that was damn vulnerable to water from upwards. So when going through the ice trail, I ended up inevitably stepping into puddles of icy water, and walking in wet socks on the icy path. P.S. Dear Universe, when I said “What could be worse than stepping into puddles of icy water?” it was not a challenge. That same day, after I painstakingly dried my shoes, I got them wet again, this time with half my jeans.

10. Palace:
Its one of the two things I enjoy when overseas (the other is mountains). So I went to see Queen Min’s palace. Those who studied IB History paper 3 may vaguely recall brief mention of her assassination by the Japanese before they conquered Korea. The korean version of the story I heard involves additional detail like how the Japanese sliced off her tongue before burning her alive, and how she willingly stepped forward to prevent the killing of innocent people. (both claims of which i’m skeptical about -_-)

Funny thing is it was at this site where I saw the most Japanese tour groups. First, I wonder if the Korean government made it a compulsory part of the Japanese tour program. Second, I wonder what was their reaction to the story.

Concluding remarks:

I didn’t actually like my korean holiday. Yeah whatever, some may say that its being unappreciative of a holiday. No, its not. Its being objective. Objectively, if your favoritest loved one gives you an ugly shirt you don’t like, it is still an ugly shirt you don’t like. I actually wanted it to end, which shouldn’t be the case for a holiday. It was a sentiment that was neither present for Japan nor Boston. One of my problems is probably that I kept drawing a perpetual comparison to Japan – in every aspect apart from the snow mountain – which I didn’t see in Japan, I thought that Japan was still ahead. And I didn’t even have to compare with Tokyo and Osaka. Japan’s more expensive of course – but maybe you get what you pay for. Maybe I’m biased (especially since I forgot my reasons for feeling that way by now).

Well, blame fukushima, and blame my sister who finished her O’s and her stupid Kpop craze. When I pressed her to name two aspects where Korea was better, she said “the television!”

All by myself!

I recall that when I was 14, I had 14 people wish me happy birthday, and 15 when I was 15.

SO guess how many friends wished me happy birthday when I was 20?

According to the trend line, 20 right? right? NO.
ZERO

FOREVER ALONE

all I needed was one person to wish me happy birthday. It’s okay, who needs friends when you have a lot of money, mangoes and stuff to busy yourself with.

***

all cos i have no facebook i guess :/ its like how people don’t remember other people’s phone numbers anymore after they simply store it on a contact list.

Maybe if I were a pretty girl, people would remember.

Late nights thoughts

Losing my mp3 player for a short half an hour at work. Leaving work at 8pm at night under the nice moon. Taking a long night walk home after an eventful evening with a bit of alcohol and a lot of good food — not the same night as the leave work at 8 night of course!  - Those are three things that I was planning to blog about in detail — but a bit sleepy by now.

Especially when I just met up with  a friend I haven’t seen for a year, I’m left in a pensive mood. Probably with too much to say or express. Its all ineffable, and all ephemeral — but all still festering in my head. If I don’t blog, it means either I have nothing substantial in mind (as I’m too occupied with other trifles), or I have too much.

But I leave you with one thought: “People don’t change — they merely discover what they were.”

Five (fast) foodie points

1. Life is quite simple. All I need after a long tiring day of work is an awesome dinner or a nice long shower. Preferably both.

2. Spending money on food you end up disliking and regretting is a cardinal sin. I’m fine with spending money. Its just the thought that the money + stomach space could have been spent elsewhere.

3. Once you’re pampered by a higher quality ramen, the rest is crass. Remind myself not to get ramen from that restaurant with a red shirt girl holding a bowl. The egg does not have the semi-fluid yolk. The noodles are more akin to chinese lamian at best. Every aspect from soup to meat is sub-par. Yes, I’m that picky.

4.  Mango (as in the fruit, not the Bnand) ever disappoints. It concludes the day well – and tastes awesome regardless of whether its the sweeter or less ripe kind. It must be refrigerated though.

5. I think my body is programmed to feel hungry after I brush my teeth. dammit.

Worse than constipation and insomnia

Constipation and insomnia suck. You could feel the repressment of natural rhythm. There is this overwhelming feeling of a futile struggle that is so close, yet so far. At times, the more you try, the harder it gets. (no innuendo intended).

But there’s one thing worse than constipation and insomnia — the combined force of sleep paralysis and severe diarrohea. Oh shit.

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Question: which  did I have when I thought of this post?

Cracking the Singapore Citizenship Test

Today I spent my time at the end of the day watching (and maybe a bit more than that) my china friend, who doesnt really know English, fill up his citizenship test online.

A clarification (as usual):

That I am not commenting on the entirety of the selection process. There are many aspects to the application process that might be quite stringent i.e. interview or track record. I don’t know. I am commenting specifically on the online test of national education stuff that is taught in primary school social studies, and pointing out two loopholes.

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Two glaring loopholes:

1. Loophole 1: The online test can easily be done by someone else, which defeats the purpose of such a test. I’m still wondering how a person who cannot read english could do the test. Joe Bloggs would do the test himself. Don’t do what Joe Bloggs would do.

2. Loophole 2: The online test is lax to the point that it allows tikaming. If you get Option A wrong the first time, you can just go back and press Option B – till C/D/whenever you get it right. Meaning to say, even if you do not process the knowledge tested, you can still pass. Joe Bloggs does not guess!

(Digression: I know I’m misusing and misrepresenting the Joe Bloggs test-taking strategy. There are Joe Bloggs questions though, and DO AS what Joe Bloggs would do)

Comparisons:
Putting Loophole 1 and Loophole 2 together, two harder tests come to mind:
a) The Maid English Proficiency Test (MEPT) – which is a test taken in person and involve maids giving up a lot, and flying to take the test personally in Singapore. This ensures no one takes the test for them.

b) The ORD quiz: one mistake and you have to restart the test. It prevents tikaming, and at least makes you think about each answer carefully. Even if you still tikam all the way, you would have repeated the entire fucking thing enough times for it to be burnt into your brain.

The two loopholes could be fixed easily. But that wouldn’t be too convenient to become a citizen, would it?

Further questions:
1. is the quiz even relevant to assessing who should become a singaporean?
2. does head knowledge define what it means to be singaporean?
3. Is it not enough for an immigrant to bring with him a set of economic contributions?

My personal belief is that the quiz doesn’t add much. It should allow someone to get over and done with quickly, and the loopholes allow it. The alternative would be a waste of time — or a freaking English test. 

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It’s not really called Maid English Proficiency Test right?

According to the Jakarta Globe, one sample size had only 5/50 maids succeeding. That is 10%. In comparison, the admission rate for Oxford PPE is 16.5%. Statistics is magick

SMLJ safesurf!!

I have mentioned before how i get blocked by safe surf, with this tone of resignation and disappointment.

But I’m starting to get pissed off when a Foreign Policy article is blocked.

Can someone tell me why the fuck this article (which I cant see) is blocked by safesurf:
http://ricks.foreignpolicy.com/posts/2011/10/27/hey_it_turns_out_that_income_inequality_really_is_a_major_national_security_issue

its not even singapore related -_-

Maybe there’s some random anatomy to illustrate the burgeoning income gap or something.

Because I am bored/annoyed/a dick, and want to waste someone else’s time: customerservice@starhub.com.sg

Haircut

Normally when I get my haircut, I cut the whole head, rather than just the slope (probably just to make it more worth it, especially with the weather). Its probably the first time in ten years that I only cut the slope.  I don’t know. Its not like I really like long hair or anything. Its probably just because I can.

Although the more disturbing thought is, what happens overseas. what if I’m too cheapskate to cut my hair — since for every haircut I pay for, I could get a plate of duck rice or something.  ….nah, don’t think I could go a year without. i’d pay to have it more manageable.

Maybe the new haircut will make me feel some anticipation soon. October is ending. November is soon. And November is a month before the last month.

Delayed gratification (by circumstance)

Delayed gratification is when you have a 24” monitor waiting on your table — with an incompatible electric plug, which needs a converter you do not have yet. (what kind of lousy international marketing is this?!)

Then I thought about it and realised that I don’t really have the time to watch movies anytime soon either. Its just the sheer awesomeness of having a screen so big. Its more than TWICE of my current screen size.

Sort of feels like yesterday when it only rained heavily for five minutes. And that was the five minutes I was walking under no shelter. By the time, I reached the shelter. The rain stopped.

Why I have no facebook (part 1)

 

Today I went for some course on bridging the gap between gen x and gen y — little was taught on how the gen y can do their part to bridge the gap. But in one of the interactive activities, I found myself less ‘gen y’ than some old dude, technologically at least. For instance, I have no facebook.

 

Because windows are for people to look in.

This is a short intro to explaining why I didn’t set up facebook back at the end of j2.

Not yet at least.

 

Dennis Ritchie: More substance than style.

Something tells me that the only reason I am posting this obituary is because I think the Jobs mourning, while valid to some degree, is overrated. Its not my thing to mourn great men either way I think — be it great musicians, great directors, great researchers and doctors. Or at least I wouldn’t mourn it more than their retirement. It is not enough for me to feel love for another because of their product and ground-breaking contribution. In other words, I am not one of those kind people who are actually mourning the death of one great guy: I’m just taking more pleasure in pointing out that another mourning isn’t worth all that much.

But I’m biased. First, I don’t feel a need to mourn the loss of great people. I might mourn the end of their creations – so death is nothing more than a retirement. Its insensitive, but its true, and I’m not afraid to admit it.

Second, I don’t use no ipod, iphone, ipad and I’m still surviving. Admittedly I might buy an ipad or macbook air eventually. Maybe that’s why I haven’t felt the omega impact of using an apple product yet.

But my usual dictum remains: On the premise that most people are stupid therefore wrong, hence if something is very popular, there must be something wrong with it. Here’s some economic reasoning to substantiate my point: Especially when (an almost religious) popularity allows for a form of complacency and cutting of corners. I almost follow this irrationally and religiously — be it for jobs, products, schools, scholarships.

I value brands: they are a good gauge of quality. But I’d rather stay away from THE brand, and the one labelled as the best. With a kick-ass reputation, they could compromise on the quality and still have a mass following.

I guess style is still more important than substance.  But as the quote of the day goes: “without C, you couldn’t google for porn.” With that I end with another image (heh heh heh)…

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DAMNNNNNNN