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Only five people know. Somehow I think it will leak eventually. It’s just a matter of who, how and how long before — this is what I’m more interested in. I’m not sure what will happen after. I certainly would prefer if word never got out though
Or am I having too little trust and faith in people? Reason-wise, it is highly probable that shit will leak. Emotion-wise, I actually somewhat think that I can trust these people.
We’ll see eventually. This is an example of a hypothesis that can only be disproven, never proven. like how “there is no such thing as a dinosaur still living”.
Then again, I never trust my emotions, which will turn out to be right compared to the rationalisation. How then should I act? (think about this hard enough and your head will get messed.) A paradox!
I spent the last night not sleeping at all and managed to survived the day after. Probably due to substances rather than euphoria (not much of this anyway, more of the other), which i used cunningly to complete work and gain inspiration. Dionysian shit.
For the past week, I’ve been sleeping normally since its a school-less week. My crazy hours are only for when I have to wake up at 6am the next day. Also, I’ve been sleeping normally for the sake of the bate finals. This is probably one of the first school ocmpetition where coming in 1st runner up does not mean losing the finals since usually the finals will have only two people instead of four. I also have this new superstition: to win, i need someone from their own school to ask me to beat their own school team, or at least for this competition.
One small problem — i think my night senses dulled after this long while. I stepped on some roller thing of my brother’s thing on the way down to get my 2am breakfast. Made a din that awoken my parents and I swore a bit loudly i think ><
Izzy was telling me abt this book she went to read called “s*t*n’s s*x strategies”. (I have blocked out the key words so that nobody hacks in and turns it into an occult/pwn joyland, like *her* blog!)
This all started when I said the devil was a woman. I of course knew full well that angels were genderless. But for the fun of it since… hell hath no fury like a woman’s wrath andd the devil is like a roaring lion and a woman is like a roaring lion, therefore the devil is a woman.
*************
izzy says:
ey i’m reading this google book result thingy, apparently feminism is of Satan. God created man > woman, but satan put “an inherent interest to excel above the man” and control him in order to upset that balance
lloydsho – __ says:
oh my, now what have i done!
lloydsho – __ says:
i got you interested “i was curious! ><”
__
lloydsho – __ says:
no, its abt feminism and satan
lloydsho – __ says:
the two things that have been damned to hell
lloydsho – __ says:
im not reading an unholy book before i sleep
izzy says:
oh is it unholy?
izzy says:
shit shit shit
izzy says:
thats the problem with me, i just read everything
izzy says:
not reading anymore
izzy says:
i scared D:
*************
izzy says:
it has a very extreme stance
izzy says:
feminine radicals have been possessed by she-demons and all
lloydsho – __ says:
oh wait, it isnt feminism after all
lloydsho – __ says:
radical feminism is more evil.
lloydsho – __ says:
ok maybeeee i might read it!
izzy says:
i shall go to the fireac blog now HAHAHA
lloydsho – __ says:
and cos itll subjugate men (weak ones esp) and demand that they be injected with half a litre of estrogen everyday
izzy says:
OMG
izzy says:
SERIOUSLY?!
lloydsho – __ says:
………….
izzy says:
and you know this because of debate?
lloydsho – __ says:
yeah it has taoist influence apparent
lloydsho – __ says:
new age crap
lloydsho – __ says:
if testosterone is the problem,
lloydsho – __ says:
oestrogen is the solution
*****aftermath*****
lloydsho – __ says:
no more beulah moments!
izzy says:
dont fool me again
izzy says:
indeed
lloydsho – __ says:
thats like asking me not to lie
lloydsho – __ says:
oh it IS asking me not to lie
izzy says:
dont lie
lloydsho – __ says:
kk
lloydsho – __ says:
ure gonna get findmucked
izzy says:
i’m gonna stay away from you
___
I don’t think she knew what I meant when I said she’d be findmucked.
You’ve been findmucked!
Truth be told, CNY is getting mother mundane. (My mum is a bit less mundane actually) Bloody hell, I don’t even get bakwa anymore. CNY without bakwa is like christmas without the tree! I know it isn’t really part of tradition, but remind me to Fabricate something to be part of Chinese Tradition if i ever were to be an entrepreneur (I won’t)
Given the choice, I’d rather have a luxury hotel in brunei with a private pool to avoid all relatives. Alternatively, I’ll draw the blinds, turn off the lights, put up a “LLOYD IS NOT AT HOME” sign and pretend I’m not at home, lock myself in my room with a bottle of Southern Comfort (Sounds like a Plan!)
Thankfully, I only have two houses to visit (both grandparents) who stay in the jurong island region — after that I can go home and do my own things. Lucky I don’t have seven uncles and five granduncles or something. (Not that I KNOW OF at least) at least I don’t have to go Penang. I actually don’t see it as that bad a thing, nice food, nice change for a short while…
This however means that I get less red packet money. But ah, small price lah. This is the Price of Peace. Contrary, I am not a money grubbing greedy ho, I prefer my peace, time and doing nothing. Money is usually a payment for your time. In simple economoic terms, I will only care about the $100 if it means less than $100 of my time. And my time happens to be quite valuable to me.
I think this whole red packet business is really just to shut the kids up. I’m quite sure even in the old times, kids loathed visiting their father’s cousins whom they don’t know of. I barely see any of my relatives apart from cny.
The new idea I have been tinkling with: the circular flow of income.
1. Visit relatives with no children on first day
2. Your children get red packets but you don’t have to give any
3. On the second day, take your children’s red packets and give them to the relative’s children
A bit like repackaging Christmas presents to give away stuff you don’t like to people who might like them. I don’t do this don’t worry. I don’t give christmas presents.
If my parents practised this, we win.
- We have three kids, you have one. We get more red packets. We win.
- (On the other hand…) We give ten dollars per kid, you give #$%^ing TWO! $10 > 3x$2. We lose.
I want rich ass relatives who stay in bukit timah and give $50 =\ My windfall barely reaches three digits, but ah, the price of peace. I hate festivities.
On the title, Cow Pay Cow Bull. You can view it as a reflection of how this year might be. Or you can treat it as a form of Manhoing/slave dealing, replace cows and bulls with Girl Pay Girl Boy. Or bull could refer to the usual BS. Pick your interpretation, just don’t cow pay me.
The chinese tradition for the new year involves the kids staying up late so that their parents can have good health.
Somehow I don’t think staying till 12am the next day really counts. In old days, the only way to tell if it was day is when the sun rises — meaning the poor kid would have to stay awake till sunrise.
The joke going around in school is that the parents of ib students will live very long. Then again, my sis said that this is for young people in general. We’re not -that- special really. In fact, is the situation even that bad? The last I checked, I slept at 7pm and obtained 7-8 hours of sleep on a daily basis.
If I were a parent ah, I’m gonna force the poor kid to stay awake — my good health is at stake!
Of course, I kid. I don’t really believe in this tradition mumbo jumbo. But okay la, out of convenience , no cleaning, no cutting of hair, no shaving (not like i need to for a month or so)
I could put my time to good use by reading my world lit texts — but that will send me off to sleep prematurely FOR SURE. It is a natural law of the universe. I will leave those for tomorrow.
Incidentally, because I am doing a key word intensive topic, my eyes now have a Ctrl-F function to spot alcohol in ANY article. A bit like how my eyes were geared to pick out the word Velutha previously, just that its a much less common word than alcohol…
I just received a christmas card (which I believe was about a month ago) Miserableness and my distaste for festive occasions has dictated that it was my only card as well. Bah, Humbug
What is disturbing is — I quote “you like to pretend that you have no morals but we all know that you have a good heart“
Questions to consider
1. So I’m viewed to have no morals on first thought?
2. So I’m viewed to want to be viewed to have no morals?
3. So whatever I’m doing (which I’m not sure what) is viewed as…. pretending?
Not that I have no morals — I just have a disregard for conventions, regulations and general opinion if they get in the way of the easiest way of getting things done. And I feel it is right to help free other people frm guilt and self condemnation when they resort to unconventional methods.
Perhaps the good heart (assuming the truth behind the statement, which i beg to differ) directs the moral principles instead of being shackled by morals.
If a so-called set of moral principles ever EVER gets in the way of relationships or solutions, where another is shunned just because of one different controversial thought — that would be far more immoral.
Ooh, who’s this playing xbox — looks extremely focused!
seems to be having more gamer spirit than me, most unfortunately =\
And seems to be having a heck lot of fun at that. the things celebrations can do to you.
If you were there to see however, the game involves him getting his car getting smashed up -_-
As for me I was too busy occupied with other things then. (Anyone notice the Cup of Blue stuff in the picture?)
Having a competition later, I have taken the day off. I deem this rest absolutely essential to my performance later as well as a form of incubation before embarking on the shit list for this term. I partly attribute this to the Chock talk which has struck fear and stress in the hearts of many.
This is my first day missing a day of school for about more than a year. last year, I PROUDLY SAY that I did not miss a single day of school even when terribly ill and unable to function that I had to medicate and eventually visit the sick bay.
This feeling of rest and being able to go for a walk 8 in the morning in the park under the nice morning sun is truly refreshing. I have gotten enough sleep to compensate for my week of 7-2s (which is actually 7 hours) and occasional 9-2s. Repurcussions when I get back to school can wait till I get back to school. Evade everything!
This leads me back to think back to the sec three and four, where I only turned up for days with A math and History (all else was unimportant and unenjoyable) Who cared anyway, with no O levels. Not to mention back when I had compulsory UYO every friday, I would postpone getting an mc for my sore throat on Monday till friday to miss school. Good Ol’ Days.
Of course I am now reformed and today is a small exception entirely out of necessity. Won’t happen again. Oh well, I can’t claim at the end of this year that I didn’t miss a single day of school, but Yeah, that REALLY matters.
On a side note, I was contemplating seeing the doctor today for my leg — but I’d prefer not to so that I can focus on preparation for competition later. My zen might be disrupted by the either glumness or euphoria which results from the diagnosis.
And the train ride ended with this woman asking me to help her carry her damn luggage which is hell lot heavier than amanda sun’s hmun luggage.
– I gather that she is local from the accent but stayed in America for an extremely long time to the extent that her language is americanized like “high school” instead of junior college (Not to mention her luggage is so damn big and heavy).
– She can’t find the taxi stand, so she either didn’t grow up in the area or been away for at least ten years — it’s either her friend’s or parent’s place.
– She is taking a taxi meaning theres no one to pick her up. Either her parents who probably really miss her can’t drive, or its her friend. But it’s poor-man-area, Lakeside, and I would stay with a friend in the east or at most some rich bukit timah place, not lake side (which won’t be surprising if her parents mainly take public transport) ><
– She didn’t take a taxi from the airport but instead would crowd on the train for an hour with two huge luggages, meaning she isn’t that rich either.
– She is also not staying for good, otherwise she would have sent most of her belongings by mail.
– She is carrying a childish toy — it’s probably not her kid cos she has no ring and she has no husband with her to carry her things or meet her. the toy’s probably for a younger sibling — I think a sister since its all ribboned up and PINK.
– So she’s probably visiting her family.
– And from her attire and time she’s back (i think a uni term would start soon) she’s already working.
These I later confirmed. She has in fact been away for fifteen years. I suppose from Uni time and on scholarship, which coincides with her working now. Any earlier and her family would have been with her. And (I reasonably generalise) from the estate, unlikely that she used the Parent Scholarship.
Sorry, the things I do to entertain myself when going home after sunset, even if its just walking from the platform to the taxi stand.
No, really — i was just damn bored and needed some form of real-life sudoku. No special interest in the person whatsoever (american diet does stuff to people, one of the main reasons that led me to think she went america) I would also otherwise be far too distracted and spending my little observation time on other things ><
On the train home, i saw this family with five young kids.
Thoughts:
– woah, they reproduce like rabbits…
– wait, don’t they practise birth control like everyone else?
– maybe they want kids
– ouch, got to hurt for the mum for five times
– does she really want it?
– ah i see a chinese male chauvinist family…
– but they’re taking public transport — they’re not THAT rich
– then why the heck does either want five kids
– the age gap is too small
– THEY are too small, how the heck you handle five small children on a train?
– Maybe they only intended for four: two of the children look the same, are the same size and where the same clothes. must be twins
– theyre mainly wearing pink. I see, they’re all girls
– ah ha, and the reason why they have so many kids is that they must be trying for a boy.
- A chinese male chauvinist family once again!
The ways I entertain myself going home after sunset, even though its just one stop worth of time.
It is disturbing that I am pro-feminism. Just that if you want to be treated like a man, don’t expect to be treated like a lady. I mean otherwise, treatment which assumes that you are weaker and more delicate will be extremely sexist! In fact, the reversal of gender roles is just fine as well!
Moral reciprocity — the principle which we have been raised with. To do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
By logical extension, let others do unto you what you do unto them — the principle of retribution
Consider lying-
Reciprocity means we should not lie because we don’t want others lying to us.
However since we DO lie, retribution means we should understand when others do lie. It is only right to do so and otherwise hypocritical. If I do it, I should be okay with other people doing it.
Likewise, as liars we wouldn’t like to be found out, and hence shouldn’t expose others either.
It would make things complicated.
Not that I know that I’m being lied to again at all.
In the words of Ashleigh Brilliant (damn i want a surname like this)
“Success for some people depends on becoming well-known, for others it depends on never being found out.“
Who cares about being well-known!
According to my (borrowed and extremely expensive) Jack Gray book, anti-legalization Chinese officials highlighted the example of the Chinese failure against the Yao Aborigines in 1832 where soldiers were weakened by their addiction to Opium and hence could not fight.
Contrast this with the earlier example about Indian soldiers taking opium without any hindrance to their efficiency.
Three thoughts :
1. Perhaps Indians have a higher tolerance to Opium as well, much like alcohol.
2. How can addiction possibly be a hindrance — as long as you keep feeding the addiction and avoid withdrawal symptoms. Everyone’s stoned happy! Opium should have instead be legalised in order to provide for the druggie needs of the soldiers to keep them going!
I’d attribute the Indian success to the fact that they had a continual supply of fuel since poppy was grown in their country and for more easily available than China.
Either one might explain the difference — I’m more inclined to believe the latter.
Now to get to homework proper.
It’s been quite awhile since I last posted. Basically because I have things to say, a plenty of happy things actually, but things which I cannot say — lest I piss people off. The vindictive jealousy against the undeserving hos. Mobs can be quite scary. Above all, laziness triumphs
Life thus far:
1. I’m not dead yet nor am I dead busy to the extent that I no longer use MSN. My sleep hours never did correct itself since I got back from USA — I could, but I wouldn’t. This is ideal — My hours have now shifted into 2am-7pm. This means I get 7 hours of sleep — more than most people heh. The still of the night is preferred to the busy early night.
2. Going about my usual sneaky stuff much alike last year where it was Great Success. The feeling is entirely the same, except that this one has a smaller stake and is far less drawn out. This is just like season 2. (I have a funny feeling I might have to pull off One Per Year, i wonder what next year!)
One regret I have: While my sneaky shit always seems to work to get myself out, i can never seem to pass it on to others for some reason. Last year or this.
With reference to being told off not to use “labels” to nick people and my previous post on how my mum labelled people as well.
(I have done a partial cover up of identity — meaning no name, or explicitly pointing out who!)
lloydsho – __ says:
she gave the hmun ppl at the airport all labels!
funnygirl says:
what did she call me?!
lloydsho – __ says:
not telling you
lloydsho – __ says:
later hurt your feelings ><
funny girl says:
hahah tell meee!
lloydsho – __ says:
bong got the “skinny skinny tall tall one”
funnygirl says:
me?!?!?!!!
funnygirl says:
tea pot.
funnygirl says:
ugly hair. crazy hair lion cow.
funnygirl – __ says:
keep going ><
funnygirl says:
HAHAHA OMG WHICH ONE LAAAA.
funnygirl says:
whalaooo you evil boy h8 you x100
funnygirl says:
LLOYDDDD
lloydsho – __ says:
you really want to know ah?
funnygirl says:
haha yeahhh
lloydsho – __ says:
oh lol “the girl we met first at the airport“
funnygirl says:
…
You’ve been findmucked!
Lessons to learn:
1. We are all self conscious people (myself inclusive) and in some cases negatively self aware.
2. What we don’t know can’t hurt us unless….
3. Our imagination might be more dangerous than reality! Better to clarify things than to leave things to people’s imagination sometimes.
(any further logical extensions would show too much about me)
(Woah. HR abuse! Because of the ambiguous nature of what exactly “human rights abuse” is, a really anal person can call this an abuse like anything else.)
And some journalist once complained that people In This Island have too comfortable a life (yeah we know, but I don’t see why anyone would want OTHERWISE) because our trains aren’t as packed as Japan. — which is a Duh, given that our population is a heck lot smaller and it probably just reflects on how efficient our public transport system is. Really want to be as packed as Japan and have the uncomfortable? Why be uncomfortable when you can be comfortable
It’s a good year — better still if I don’t get spammed by smses frm random people whom i a) don’t usually talk to b) don’t usually get smses from c) don’t even have the damn phone number!
Yes, because your mass spammed Wishes really matter to me when I don’t even talk to you people — to do so would seriously lack sincerity and is just doing it for the heck of it! (However, if I do talk to you, I’d gladly welcome wishes — just because I am lazy to reply does not mean I’m unappreciative!)
Being brilliant as always, I shut off my phone, didn’t go online at all and went to sleep at 10pm as the finale to myselfweek. Zero disturbance! A good way to end my hermit lifestyle before coming out again for the year. Glad that I’m getting weeded off that waste of a time msn though I only talk to a few to begin with anyway.
What I’m puzzled about is why a certain someone whom I think would be very likely to didn’t. Which leads me to conclude that this person is a) dead by now or b) a phony.
Now I’m curious as to what new year’s resolution I ought to have, probably some thing to do with how this is the most important school year. Hell, I sure regretted That resolution of not skipping a day of school, which I sure kept even when very sick. Resolutions are bound to fail though, in general — and takes too much effort to try ><
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