What sort of stupid Painkillers work by causing pain in just some other area (gastric). Apparently my codeine supply has been cut — that which I thought I would have for eternity or at least for the next two years while in the Jungle. This is because it has been replaced by the need for a stronger painkiller and also due to a change in the Doctor Team.

Anyway I have been trying to get off it already by using proper protection (the alternative would be a Metal Casted Leg)  – which has resulted in an increased appetite. If I do need, I still have a 124 pills to go.

****

I keep attributing many things (feelings) to chemical reactions in the head. My conclusion would be to carry on going through encounters which results in the  chemicals being produced naturally.   In our lives spent searching for happiness, I must clarify that I will refrain from faking depression just to get a Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitor as i fear physical side-effects *ahem* and withdrawal symptoms (maybe just try Hypnosis)

But what is more disturbing is how they can shape a character — i.e. increased testosterone will mean a more impulsive, rahgrahrah character with more drive in more than one way. Having more sedatives make one more quiet. Opiates can create a feeling of euphoria. Beyond drugs, I refer to hormones as well and how they might affect decisions made.

Implication being, if chemicals can affect the way we behave — do we consider ourselves to be defined by our character? Say I no longer act the way I used to, can i be considered the same person? Not just in the sense of dementia and alzheimer’s, what if I reform — does that count?

It seems that every thing which we think “defines me” can fade away — physical appearance (aging/disfiguration), experience (memory loss) and now even character and personality.

So then what does it mean to “like you for who you are”
It means what it means. (I am who I am!)

About these ads