You are currently browsing the monthly archive for July 2009.
Okay fine, I come open — my money has been diverted to going for archery for the past few weeks at night. (and the dinners before that also)
It is a form of slack exercise — actually not very slack on certain muscles but hey, I don’t need to run around and it doesn’t need stamina OR exertion on my um, leg. From a CV-ho perspective, it is a physical activity which can add to my “holistic well-roundedness”!
Overall, it’s supposed to be mentally therapeutic just by releasing alone, on top of how your mind becomes focused on the target. Though truth be told, I hardly care about hitting the target — all i want to do is to shoot shit. I was most happy on the friday night with two hours spent shooting.
Scoring-wise, it is reflective of me in other areas of life (for example, my olden days in Bates or academically, 4 wtf) also. The highs are very high, the lows are very low. There is barely any in between and it all balances out in the end. (though people do better by being consistent)
Problem is, I think it ends here for now unless I find somewhere which lets me rent equipment. Right now, I don’t think I’m certain and prepared enough to spend a few hundred dollars on my own bow (when I am not even prepared enough to buy a new pair of shoes). Buying a bow now means commitment (like buying an apartment with your girlfriend heh)
I know home team rents out equipment and lets people use the range for a low price of $4 but damn la — I’m hardly Home or Team. Maybe I’ll just wait till next year — if i’m not wrong, NSmen got token privileges. Also, because I’m pampered — I prefer indoors otherwise I’ll end up the colour of my coho from his wurfing, if not a dark grey. (When he told me that archery isn’t a sport cos he saw fat frenchmen doing it, I wanted to tell him I saw plenty of americans shaped like a SHEEP PIE windsurfing before also)
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What a wonderful week — I cleared the annoying english IAs. I only spent two days in school. Plenty of time reading by myself and doing my own things. I spent $80 of kino vouchers and a $15 billy bombers voucher all on the day of expiry itself. I just had a glass of soco with apple juice. All that is left is to finish off a bit of econs and bio IA tomorrow and I have none left. And I look forward to sunday.
In less than a day, I have completed reading the first book — The Meaning of Things by A.C. Grayling. (Why else did I take a day off again?) Perhaps it is meant to be an easy to read “popularised” book in the first place — which is what I like. Too often works of academics can be read only by academics. It is actually quite tiresome to spend an afternoon reading an argument in dense language. The best part is that it is compartmentalised into short two to three paged essays.
Grayling begins the book with a chapter on Moralising others and Intolerance — two issues which constantly irk me. I find that I have thought about quite a number of his views to begin with, for example, nationalism or even Christianity, faith and sin. In general, his book comments on various facets of life such as emotions and constantly makes references to historical thinkers, right when I thought I was liberated from sayings of Strindberg and Euripides.
I must say though — he is more outright anti-religion. The centre of the book spans around ten pages just in criticism of religion alone (I still keep my faith while disregarding its harmful irrational limitations. Problems can be attributed to an imperfect Man distorting the view of a Perfect God to serve his purpose as all text is open to interpretation) But that is often the product of requiring everything to be rational. The book takes a stand against the narrowmindedness and intolerance of those who make moral decisions based on a ‘higher authority’ without reason and attempt to impose it on others. It remains in praise of the rational.
It’s a good series — I think I know where I’ll be using the rest of my vouchers. I’ll at least take a look at The Reason of Things next.
Despite being sick and physically worn out from earlier in the night, I slept at 3 to settle the restructuring of world lit once and for all. Strangely I felt fine when I woke up. No more English IA — which makes the subject a bit less of a prick but that’s just like fire being a bit less hot.
Either way I was in a good mood upon spending my Bounty of $80 of kino vouchers through winning nonsense like humanities challenge (which shaw chaired) and boggle (ROFLWTF but which shaw chaired *again*. Not that there’s any foul play…but people might suspect soon).
So I paid $5 for three books and an ice cream on a book on sexpsychology with sociology, sex broad spectrum general philosophy (mainly social commentary and not dry things like Logic), economics of affluence.
It was a myselfday well spent — not often do i get time alone to do my own things outside (especially in town). Usually I’ll be with one other person (in terms of numbers, not any -specific- person or even gender. any more than that I don’t function.) Technically, today does not exactly count as a myselfday since I went to school — maybe I’ll link it to tomorrow to form a single day. My individualism and this joy of being by myself does sometimes scare me — recall my stupid stunt of telling the world that i had extended my holiday in boston by ten days just to have ten days by myself lazing in a benchswing.
As a result of new books, looks like my illness from not fully using my three day MC, has returned and I need to take the day off tomorrow!
My wallet feels a bit strange without the bundle of vouchers which have been there for almost a year. Oh yay, lighter wallet — thouigh i’m still not used to it yet. Perhaps I’ve grown a sense of attachment to it!
I might not be in school, but I’m there in spirit — so far so good.
And placing short term growth over long term growth has the same effect of taking a cold shower while having a high fever from a cold.
Placing long term growth over short term growth is like taking cold fruit juice when youre having phlegm.
What deals with both is medicine — but that needs money.
Maybe you will get the analogy eventually.
(Maybe I would too)
I know quite a number of people whom I hold in high regard and deem as very intelligent and capable to like the study of literature but anyway.
I think I subtly alluded to this multiple times but I think I should say it explicitly: I hate lit. There is no hidden meaning. There is no beauty in hidden meanings or irony. There is no intended message if the writer just doesn’t say it outloud for goodness sake! It makes no sense, which also means it can make any sense, which means its subjective. How can something of such subjective nature be made examinable. At the core of it, I believe that literature is taught only so that literature can be studied, so that people can grow up to teach literature, so that literature can be studied….
Just read it by itself, enjoy it by itself — you don’t need to know how the damn air con works to enjoy it.
And I’d much rather do two history EEs (AND two tok essays) than two wlits. Yes, the ramble and rationalised attack on the study of a subject was just an excuse for my resentment that I have essays to write and this is the main subject that still has ass-weight left when all other subjects have cleared their load.
Yeah sure, I can come up with interpretations of metaphors, fluff something about tone and author’s intention and do well (assuming I don’t misread the question lol =P) but even if i do well, I still don’t see a purpose behind making fictional studies about fictional characters from a fictional world and their fictional thoughts and feelings. They are not real. I might be interested if you told me it was a real case of a psyche-ward woman though.
Why did a character act in a certain manner? We don’t know. A fictitious character does not think, does not have real self-interest, real motivations. All its inner workings are fabricated by the author. Any evidence we can gather is limited by what the writer shows. Why did the author choose to use certain descriptions? Perhaps he was just trying to thinking of a nice sounding atmosphere to describe. There need not be a purpose!
This is like getting a job I do not like — got to do it anyway. Like that lor. As that shoe brand says, Just do it. (I swear that Slogan is directed at their Viet/Nigerian shoe sweatshops hehe)
I will soon write a poem to explain how much I hate the study of lit. I am aware of my biases and how some of my accusations might apply to the other arts but I’m blocking them out for now.
What is the meaning of literature is less often asked than what is the meaning of life?
With some inspiration from Kal Penn (Kumar) who supposedly got more audition callbacks after using that anglicized name and partly also inspired by me telling a Loo that with a middle name, the name overall looks quite angmoh — I have thought of making my surname more angmoh also. By adding an O to get a Soho. It would be amusing, though not very nice sounding in my opinion. It’s a bit like how a Lee could be western (let alone a Liam). Saul would be cooler actually….
Feasibility problems include how the registry probably won’t allow surname changes and all my other documentation are under the old surname. Perhaps just on a business card in future.
Unless my mum was a Ho, as in surname Ho.
As for the name, I like it and I have no thoughts about changing it — despite the misspellings and mispronunciations, which really, I can’t see how.
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And a random thought — I wonder how many digits the Chinese have on their IC records….
Oh joy, due to my illness, I have gotten a MC for three days. Unfortunately, these aren’t quite days I really want to miss — loaded mainly with econs and the day I return to school has no econs!
Whatever it is, this is an opportunity for me to take a good break and perhaps do my own leisurely readings.
More importantly, I am going to experiment with the system of getting others to take notes for me while I do my own things at home. I have a feeling it won’t reallllyyy work though.
Alternatively, I can decide to foresake my three day privilege and only take one day off (today)…… Nah. My body (lungs) needs the rest.
However, I am trying to find a midpoint between the two through a subtle scheme… Hrmm
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Ranking lesson importance in my eyes:
1. Econs — teaching of concepts and examples is important
2. One of the Lit — only because for this period of about a month or so and needing the interpretations of others
3. History — well, to an extent, I can do the readings myself Right
4. Math — the practise is essential and would not be done elsewhere
5. The other lit — which is which??
6. Bio — I can do the readings myself and not like during lesson– nevermind.
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And i shall go lunch with my mum now.
Upon a large capital outflow of three digits earlier this week, I had to survive on a small sum of money (around $8 i think) to get by this week — resulting in me skipping a lot of meals in school and eating yoghurt bars as a form of sustenance.
This lack of nutrients probably caused my health to go to shit with an unexplained fever close to 38 degrees. No flu like symptoms. In my feverish delirium, I woke up at 3am (which I do plenty of times even when not sick) and also had a queer dream about someone whom I’ve been told had h1n1 recently. (the person put on weight in the dream)
Hopefuly next week will be better tho i must bear in mind that $20 odd go out to completely paying off my debt (i can’t recall the exact amount but i trust people’s record system more so than my own), another $10 for a ticket and another $10 for donation. Still more money than the previous week.
Overall, I would attribute the fever to dehydration from a combination of not drinking enough water and perspiring on thursday night. I base this on the amount of water I have been drinking for the past few hours. Also if things get bad, I will take the packet of pills in my drawer which I have been off since early June.
Overall, I’m happy. It has been good, and where it has been not so good, it offered something notable to talk about and be amused by.
None of these could be attributed to my effort — ironically, it is what i studied for that messed up. There is no effort-results curve, there is only a random-walk-in-the-park. Thanks be to God, entirely — for I did not expect any of these. All beyond what I could hope or think of.
On a greater scale, it is comforting to know that in a world of unpredictability and the unknown, that we have a God that knows and has everything planned for us already. Makes no sense perhaps, but its just the feeling I get. It is at this point of time that I will also make mention that I do not do QT, pray daily or even been to church for the heck knows how long. From a view of religious fervor, I do not deserve it, then again, heck who does.
Are you kidding me? I’m damn bloody happy!!!
Of course, from a balance point of view, this can be interpreted to be “lowered expectations” leading to easier fulfillment. And there are further questions which can be poked — but I don’t want to think about them.
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On another note, I take pity on a generation of morons whose muscles (actually grapes also) are bigger than their brain. It must be statistically meteoric for such an occurence. But this has been the case even for the past few years while they were younger, perhaps say even in the area of bates; and my coho would also say that even in the area of frama.
What to do. I refuse to have anything to do with them — which is why I washed my hands off bates in the first place (this Practical reason in addition to the Principle reason that I was lazy)
and every now and then when I walk down level four, I worry about diffusion. Though I’m not sure if intelligence diffuses out or stupidity diffuses in. Both scare me. I do believe that some things are air borne: just because you cant see them -yet- doesnt mean its not there! Bet the scientists during the plague all said what I’m saying but nobody believed them!
(If perchance this post refers to you, and you can read and understand what the post is about — don’t worry! I’m not talking about you. You pass the literacy test)
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Nowadays I spend the day waiting for it to be over — either for the evening to go shoot stuff or to go home and take a drink from my heh, red cannister — which at this rate, is running out soon.
But what I really look forward to every week is -
According to funnyguy:
Creepy < (Age/2+7)
So for instance creepy for me would be — below 16. And for a 16 year old, it’d be 15. Reasonable an equation if you were to draw a slope and realise that -certain things- progress more sharply in the early years and less so in the later years.
Same if it were to be a 50 year old man who trades in his 50 year old wife for two 25 year olds.
Ten years age gap for me now (WTF NINE YEAR OLDS) is plain disturbing but less so for a 50 year old who gets together with a 35 year old — unless my math failed me.
lol >< (somehow i can picture some guy from .9 wearing this on the sweater)
I think I have aged quite fast or at least changed in terms of physical appearance — from now to sec four photos or even the IC photo in sec three to a completely unrecognisable, almost unrelated p6 photo with sharp changes each time. I’m getting old.
At least people can’t recognise me especially if you haven’t seen them for about five to eight years ago. It is amazing that I retain some form of memory to identify people from the past — most recent was this family cycling. The kids have grown up, the mom is now fat andthe dad never ages upon having reached a plateau of sorts. Quite sure that none recognised me — tho, not that I am particularly concerned, they may have had a large degree of interaction with me in the past but that is the past and I have no reason to. My life can go on smoothly without.
And I wonder if such an outlook of mine will change in the near inevitable future or if there are people I value enough to put beyond what I accept to be a natural course. Like the rustling and fading of the leaves, there is only one unchanging reality, everything is temporal. We all have had a ‘best friend’ of sorts in one point of time or a gathering of good friends, all of which eventually have faded at one point or another. It is the reality.
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Screw it, my sis couldn’t recognise me when I went to meet her for lunch today (its just cos I almost never wear jeans). Nevermind, and vice versa. This only goes to show I haven’t been home for a while
The fact is — there is an othering. It’s just a matter of whether or not we accept such ingrained beliefs that we have. Plenty of us would deny it, but the fact is: everyone’s a little bit-
Even from the viewpoint of a student, if we were to think about it carefully, we don’t actively initiate conversations especially with various barriers. Besides — they form their own gatherings. Not to be critical in any sense, I’m merely stating an observation which is very much a generalization.
And at times I can’t help but to wonder about life in a foreign land with very very clear differences in appearances. I was watching this group of people (i was much about to use a label to prove my point) playing cricket. It seems that the way of life can some times be exported.
Wonder what it would be like if -I- were part of an overseas minority. Had a taste of that in Boston. Perhaps (and probably) I will again in the future.
I like Twitter. You tell everyone what you are doing in a line.
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Something like this. It’s like smsing the public
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How exhibitionistic.
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Findmuck: only as exhibitionistic about private life as a blindfolded afghan woman, merely a shrine of self worship.
While I was still a trainee of sorts, I was told that “wait is never” and indeed time waits for no one.
One instance of this: I have been planning to leech free school dental checkup and cleaning (since its free and I genuinely care about my teeth/gums). However I never could make up my mind as to when to set aside time to go. In some sense, I predicted that I perhaps will never really go for it at the rate I was going. I suppose I was right — this afternoon I witnessed the reverse deployment of the dental van and it being about to leave. Much like the door of Noah’s Ark closing — while you’re outside watching, thinking “oh crap” -_-
Perhaps a wakeup call is always necessary, in the form of a False Move. And from a student’s perspective, this is why deadlines should always be set a bit earlier than the real deadlines, with extensions only given at the last minute.
As a result, it has in some way strengthened my resolve to do some things now for the sake of enjoyment and leisure instead of put aside till later.
I end with bible verse:
So I commend the enjoyment of life, because nothing is better for a man under the sun than to eat and drink and be glad. Then joy will accompany him in his work all the days of the life God has given him under the sun. – Ecclesiastes 8:15
After all, in the long run, it’s just another short run.
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It may not seem like it — but I am arguing against procrastination. It’s a simple choose between “enjoy now or enjoy later“
The Water Bottle Dilemma.
There is one simple reason why we drink from plastic disposable bottles: they’re disposable — and hence light and easy to carry around as compared to a metal or even plastic cannister. The small opening at the top of the bottle usually means its difficult to wash the bottle as well, making bacteria infestation likely — I recall someone offering me her red nalgene with brown marks at the rim. Urgh.
And while tap water might be 850 times cheaper — really, $0.80 for a bottle (and even less if you buy in bulk from Sheng Shiong) isn’t enough to get the average person to scrooge about saving on water. (Small proportion of budget, demandprice inelastic)
Plus, (I constantly argue), you actually need to use more water to wash a non-disposable bottle (properly).
Furthermore, if conferences and fairs (or even Parades) weren’t going to give bottled water — just HOW are they going to provide water. I have an alternative suggestion: Packet drinks, which might very well use more material — it is thicker!
The paper’s two key arguments about environmental damage and cost-saving can hence be said to be insignificant. Convenience (and even basic provision) outweighs its costs. I will further go on to extend the logic of “durable over temporal’ from these anti-bottled environmentalists as follows:
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I thought of this while going wow at theworkplace’s upgraded Award Quality toilet paper — which of course will be a permanent change. I don’t think toilet paper will be upgraded temporarily just for the week right… A good long lasting change which I hope won’t go away. An improvement for the better.
If we valued “long term use” that much in the name of saving the bloody environment and trees, we shouldn’t be using toilet paper.
After all, it would be cheaper (probably more than 850 times) and conserves the trees if we were to use a dish shitcloth on a daily basis. My water argument can’t be invoked here since you can wash your shitcloth with all your other clothes >< It’s like the old non-disposable diapers.
And how many environmentalists do this again? Not like its absolutely necessary to use toilet paper I mean. And are you then saying that the comfort of your buttcrack is more important than the importance of saving trees and preventing global warming?
Life on Blooosia Avenue
After a blooosian meal of blooosian noodles, I had a blooosian idea,
so I went into my blooosian room in my blooosian house, nicely on the blooosian hill of blooosian avenue.
I couldn’t think of a blooosian song on my blooosian piano,
so I had tried to make a blooosian poem in my blooosian book,
then a blooosian post on my blooosian com.
All I could come up with was blooosian spelling for blooosian.
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My gender orientation is very much indeed in an ocean of unexplored potential and less competition.
I quite like history, though less so for Mao.
When Mao came to visit, crops were transferred to areas around the railway track of Mao’s track for him to see the glorious advancements the province had fulfilled.
That being said, Mao also attacked Wu Han for his historical play “The Dismissal of Hai Rui from Office”
Oh well, too bad nothing in the papers gave me room to write about these.
My Chinese blood dictates that I have innate latent abilities to handle mathematics — just that I am often too lazy to reach a climax Endpoint. Much like my effort-results curve, I now present to you the Sin Curve of Happiness. — Evidently, I like studying Models and Curves.
Consider emotions to have up and down. The Up represents pleasure and happiness.The down the opposite. Now picture it as a Sin (pronounced Sine) curve.
Any increase in potential happiness leads to an increase in potential unhappiness. For instance, taking drugs lead to withdrawal. Raised happiness leads to raised expectations which in turn create more unhappiness when unfulfilled. These are predicated on External influences.
Consider it as increasing the Maximum and minimum point on the graph through Asinx+c by increasing A. Arguably, a decrease in the minimum point can also lead to increased potential happiness due to lowered expectations. It’s like how previously people had Chicken for a celebratory dinner, but now its just part of a normal meal.
Likewise, continued indulgence eventually leads to a decrease in marginal pleasure. Hence I prescribed Temporal Abstinence also known as Lent for increased appreciation. A purposeful rational abstinence makes more sense on one based on principle and jibberjabber.
The objective is hence to raise both the maximum and minimum potential happiness overall by shifting the curve upwards. By increasing C in the equation. This can only be done through internal influences in the long run. Of course this is more like a gradual process (much like a business cycle’s upwards slope) and -that- i have no idea how to show in equation
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I should be doing proper math now really.
Amazing, these large scale advertising campaigns — they actually have some degree of persuasive power.
Interestingly enough, this organization wants their scholars/officers to be global citizens and leaders. That, does somewhat sound familiar.
Good advertising is able to redeem earlier poor advertising. And I realise my mind is pretty damn susceptible to advertising despite my skepticism about what might be regarded as Propoganda. Reason being: my needs/maintenance level is rather low, as long it does meet these in some sense-
I still think that as per all advertising campaigns, you only know the good and not the bad, which distorts a cost-benefit analysis. Question is — how to find the bad.
I read quite a bit about biblical law even to the extent of their sacrificial rites — I would suppose that most people haven’t. Because honestly quite a bit of it seems quite irrelevant. Apart from the fact that we don’t practice sacrifices and have a priest with an altar anymore…
.
- the law prohibits wearing clothing woven of two kinds of material (which means my linen cotton shorts goes to burn)
- do not eat any meat with blood still in it (which means gremlin and i are doomed to burn also)
- do not cut the hair at the sides of your head or clip off the edges of your beard (I kid you not. DO NOT SHAVE)
will you not agree that these are irrelevant?
Yet, it is hypocritical and legally inconsistent to leave these out and select whatever already fits our traditional beliefs — for instance, homosexuality.
Oh even if we were to follow everything, also it might be interesting to point out that the laws don’t say anything abt “having relations with yourself” nor relations before marriage. In fact with no mention of the marriage rites, it can be argued that is marriage.
While there is mention of “sexual immorality” in various parts of the new testament, one would think that there would have been an explicit mention in the lawbook of leviticus considering how detailed the book is in mentioning each relative one by one (mother’s sister, father’s wife, mother’s daughter) oh so meticulously. It is not meant to be a catch-all term. Also the bible makes no mention about the Other Sides and no, do not lump these under the catch all term of “sexual immorality” if God meant it, he would have stated so specifically and explicitly. If we were to leave things “open to interpretation” it becomes our word — and I can very interpret sexual immorality to mean to show no signs of enjoyment or to the most ludicruous extents such as no relations with ugly women or short or stupid people.
What I find distasteful is the addition/modification of words to the bible by supposed Saints or clergymen or moralist — taking and picking and adding religious backing to fit whatever set of morals they have. Discarding the rest. If you can discard some, you can discard all. If you keep some, you keep all. I respect the Bible and God’s word, what I do not respect is the manipulation of text to use as a tool to impose their own personal beliefs on another.
Moralists — in large numbers and will stop at nothing for their cause. Most irrational and myopic and probably feeling a guilty sense of angry self righteousness as they read. These, by the way, are all synonyms for something that rhymes with Cupid, with the meaning of being impaired in the ability to think and reason.
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Personally, I think rights (of certain disenfranchised groups) activists do more good than environmental activists. Mainly because one actually contribute to human well being instead of add to human inconvenience.
I am not an environmentalist and I think that any attempt to do so is futile and in fact, hypocritical. I would go green for a good corporate image though.
(phew, i made a special effort from making the above a sympathetic anti-homobasher post. I save it for another time.)
A post-[Anything] euphoria assumes three things
1. The [Anything] has ended — which it hasn’t
2. The [Anything] was bad — which it wasn’t
3. What happens after the [Anything] is good — which it isn’t going to be.
In a counterintuitive manner, I in fact wish that it wouldn’t end, that Monday wouldn’t come since more troublesome things await on the agenda. Also, I now actually feel like doing certain readings (at the wrong time -_-). Though, it is a good escape relative to the Post-Monday period.
I’m enjoying myself now. Some things, you think have ended, but haven’t really — and you go back to on your free will.
Perhaps the china scholars would consider taking History HL…
… if they found out that more than 75% of the syllabus was on China-
- Oh right, but 100% of the paper is still in written English.
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Also, I wonder if China History is taught differently in China than it is outside of China. Like Japan!
You know, Post exam euphoria? It’s that feeling of liberation you get upon the end of the paper — somewhat a sense of closure. Yeah I have that.
Except that I have one more paper tomorrow and I haven’t studied.
Err…two actually.
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Getting post-exam euphoria before post-exams?
Why, that’s like getting pregnant without -
Nevermind.
Earlier I talked about Solomon’s Magic Ring,
I think it would make the average chinese student happy also.
For each time he looked at the ring, it said
“This too shall pass.”
Perhaps the ring could make your Chinese student sad too!
“Ch** b**, pass ONLY?”
-On Repression-
It does take one to know one — i hypothesise that only a repressed escapist can identify with and point out the traits of another repressed escapist. And the more one accuses others of being a repressed escapist, the more they project that repressed side of themselves.
Which makes me worry wonder about myself. All my interpretations on findmuck may very well speak more about me than others.
- On Denial-
Closely related is the topic of denial. The complementing theory would be that the more one insists on something being untrue, the more likely it is true — otherwise we’ll neither take notice nor care, will we?
Of course true deny-ers deny so well to the extent they cant tell if theyre in denial really. The hallmark of true repression.
*****
Of course everything i say is — Not True! Not me at least, not that I know of!
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