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I wonder if it is a ceremonious and symbolic sign of ungratefulness if I take the day off on teacher’s day celebration instead of spending the little time left I have with them and sitting through celebrations.
Not as if I’m a troublemaker sort whose best teacher’s day gift would be to be absent =P
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It was a day well used. I had my own form of ACES day by walking all the way to the Station and walking back almost immediately as a form of nice morning stroll.
More importantly, perhaps I had some form of “Teacher’s day” in the field of bates, I’ve learnt a lot (unofficially) and of late, a bit of econs, and even more so on Other Life related things, both personal and involving the world around me — overall, I have received guidance beyond the Subject Area and for a period of time longer than most school teachers. Perhaps the effects may also be more long-lasting in terms of how my life decisions might have been shaped. Or at least, I can face the GATE OF THE UNDERWORLD.
Of course, statuses change over time. No one is teacher permanently unless they merely become a memory after.
Anyway, thank you. (and I didn’t mention this earlier so that I didn’t have to pay for your Soup XD)
***
Ah, while looking for a rough notebook to write stuff, I chanced upon this big-ass stack of bate notebooks. I have 13 to date before converting to cards — the extent of my early life which it took up.
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I don’t actually go in detail about my experiences in bates but reflecting upon this whole topic of teachers (i don’t like the word, it brings to mind a certain someone…), I’ve been coached by many people actually! Mostly briefly for some, tho I learnt a lot in a short period of time (since some were mass produced). Counting those, the numbers could go up to 9 (wtf). Two of them are lawyers at The Firm, one at MFA, one at MOF, one of them I learnt nothing good from but is supposedly expensively brilliant now. Interestingly, two of them are senior enough to the extent that they have coached the two coaches who trained me most.
My handwriting was as horrible then as it is now. In fact, it might have been worse. I seem to have over simplified policies and to have shown a weak understanding of human behaviour and econs then. Some parts where I laugh at how analytically weak the rebuttal is, how some don’t deal with the head-on Obvious flaws.
Then there are some parts I look at and am reminded of a good speech, figments of getting a best speaker here and there (though not much admittedly), a reminder of a sense of satisfaction from good bates. And I have this feeling — I can’t do what I did previously anymore.
Oh then there are all the Unorthodoxed sessions where I learnt the most from and can tell people that i have trained virtually ANYWHERE. It’s been quite of number of years since the first time.
Part of me wants to throw out this whole useless stack, but part of me, for some irrational reason, is unwilling to part with this important part of my life earlier before i found codeine. I know some people someone still haven’t outgrown tho =P Somehow I have more difficulty throwing away the secondary school stuff, I threw away all my supposedly more brilliant college cards already. I might have been more skilled, but i hated the experience for that year I think.
Win, lose, good, bad — probably mattered then. (actually I didn’t care about winning much) but in a grander scheme of things have become trivial and inconsequential. Those too shall pass. And having done my SGC lately, perhaps I have gotten quite a bit of souvenirs from them, but the people I’ve met and learnt from, the things I have learnt — those, perhaps, won’t pass.
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That aside, may we celebrate our underpaid, underappreciated, workloaded caged birds who have to deal with monkeywork on top of teaching diligent teachers and their efforts. Many try hard (tho not all do well). This is in token like a form of Labour Day if you know what I mean.
I would consider being a teacher (since I don’t mind money much) but I would find it tiring to mark many essays especially with students who write as illegibly as me. Furthermore, I am particularly bad at assigning an arbitrary numerical grade like 17/25 instead of 16/25. It’s not easy la — one might be damn smart but not necessarily a good teacher.
“If a body can get anything they pray for, why don’t Deacon Winn get back the money he lost on pork? Why can’t the widow get back her silver snuff box that was stole? why can’t Miss Watson fat up? No,says I to myself, there ain’t nothing to it” – Huck Finn.
We tend to have this almost Genie-like impression of prayer, in a Rub the Lamp and All I want for Christmas manner. The more religious of us would highlight prayers purposes to be more related to confession and thanksgiving, the even more religious would say that we can’t treat God like santa claus, asking only what we need and not what we want.
I’ve been made to ponder about this lately — so far, most prayers go my way (thankfully). But recently I heard of someone who has been praying Not to get a particular IOC extract, only for it to come out, leaving her crying and saying that she no longer believes in god. How drastic an effect examination stress has.
I would think that the above mentioned is rather trivial. But then again how do we define trivial? Is it trivial to God if he counts the hairs on our head? Extending the logic of the “too trivial” argument, we could even consider all things not necessary for basic survival to be trivial. And by extension, we really might as well not pray requests.
Some views I heard regarding this is that 1) you can’t get everything you want or you won’t be happy. Or 2) God has his reasons for this like making you stronger in character and spirit. Or 3) you might not realllyyy want it, it might harm you in future. Let’s evaluate these related viewpoints one by one.
The “if we got everything we wanted, we won’t be happy since we have nothing to look forward to” view was from devotion two days ago when I was partially distracted reading a lol-catz book from under the table. But frankly the above is not quite a problem — for as human beings, we -always- want what we cannot have. The thing is, what about those who NEED certain things for certain, say food in times of famine, safety in times of being held hostage, alleviation of physical suffering.
In some sense, i find the “give it to you to strengthen your character” view Rather Dubious — would that be any justification or sound reason to cause a life time of physical suffering and terminal illness where healing prayer shows no effect in order to save your soul — no matter how much you’ve repented whereas the evil get away healthy. And I am most definitely against the whole Retributive Punishment view — for there is no correlation. So why do the pleas of the helpless and suffering go unanswered? It can’t be “saving soul” since there are the evil who go rampant while being far healthier and even happier. All in the name of stronger character? Surely a supposedly loving God has more compassion than THAT right?
As for the third view, that of “the greater plan”, I find most believable. Where God, who has perfect information when we don’t, blocks out the deceptively attractive paths in the short term to protect you from long-term harm or allow for a better “greater plan” overall.
I can list examples like “I didn’t get the secondary school I wanted, I got something better”, “I didn’t get that girl, and she robust to the extent she puts the Pie back into sweetie-pie now“, “I didn’t get that prestigious uni and its overkill workload”, “I didn’t get that Scholarship and I found out later the job is crap compared to what I have now”. Only the first one applies to me so far. But to evaluate these examples, could we attribute this to the psychological mindset of “sour grapes” and optimism that leads to a bias in reaching our conclusion?
But nonetheless, I continue to believe in prayer for the very reason that it is most pragmatic and I honestly have nothing to lose. That even if it does not execute any real effect for some reason, I have a sense that I am not in this alone. That there is a supernatural omnipotent force overseeing things. Even if it is psychologically delusional to some, it works; so what.
Perhaps we don’t have the answer to everything — but that doesn’t mean it immediately becomes irrational, impossible and non-existent. Just because I don’t understand what makes rain doesn’t mean rain won’t come. Yes, we all know its due to water vapour and evaporation, but what causes these micro-level processes? What determines when exactly enough water vapour has been collected to rain?
Even where there are forces which can be explained, rationalised and control by our own intelligence, strength and experience — forces we cannot control and explain are behind these – where do we get our strength and intelligence from, where do we get our luck in daily occurence from in meeting people at the right place and the right time.
The fact is — there are forces beyond our understanding and control which we lose nothing in trying to embrace. This is the foundational basis of all religion — the social contract and laws came secondary. (I actually find theology at uni tempting, if not for the fact that I actually want proper employment after that and I don’t go to church which makes me somewhat disadvantaged)
******
I still don’t have a convincing answer as to why prayers aren’t answered, with specific reference to those who suffer. I am most inclined to the third view and I end with a verse of encouragement.
“…For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord,
“Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future…” Jeremiah 29:11
The verse above is a easy reminder in prayer. I don’t actually ask for much in prayer I think, since I don’t have much wants to begin with. Or even pray much, admittedly. Just the usual exam help — like most students. Things on my prayer list now include having an easy life which allows me to go home for dinner for the next two years somehow as well as going in later (somehow) – we’ll see if this comes to pass, since these are ENTIRELY outside my control. I know my class changes which I prayed for and did want quite badly, trivial as it may sound, mattered a lot to me for the past two years. Compared to the Easy-Life request above, grades etc seem secondary.
And in a paradoxical manner, the Christian would believe that it is in times when prayers don’t show effect, that all the more they need to continue to trust God. Reason as a Wok has a slant based on our pre-existing beliefs and perception.
And to avoid making this post look overly critical/anti in nature — if you don’t happen to believe in prayer (in my usual cheeky Findmuck manner), I can pray for God to remove all his blessings, covering, protection over your well being….if you really want to try.
As alluded to a few days ago in the post “One Bullet”, solutions have to deal with problems. Not so much a problem in bates itself, but more so with campaigns these days really. Doing all sorts of things which have completely no link to its supposed social cause.
“Raising awareness” sounds nice and fine as a label to mean really nothing at all — i.e. what does awareness achieve if it does not translate into concrete action. Often fundraisers/sticker-sellers are too detached from the Cause of the campaign itself, what then happens to the money collected? And even in instances where there is a Video showing a thankyou video from a poor family — how widespread and isolated is this? who has the campaign excluded? Nevermind these unanswered questions, from a CV-ho perspective, its very good.
But more specifically, this has also become a very good marketing strategy — I learnt in my olden days in bates, Corporate Social Responsibility (cited then as a reason for companies to go green without government intervention) to appeal to animal lovers and environmentalists. Even if there is no real effect in aiding the social cause, it gives buyers a sense of vain pride and makes them feel more willing to part with their money since some unknown amount of it is for charity!
For instance, there has been recently an anti child trafficking skin cream. Somehow I can’t see how hand lotion relates to taking a stance against child trafficking, and naturally it is a bit hard to be in support of child trafficking. Why the heck is a mess of whitish-coloured cream on the hands representative of “the future is in your hands”? (Actually I can see how it represents the Future and potential to become a life-form ><) It’s almost like putting a star in front of your msn nick to give money to africa, if you really wanted to, screw the tokenistic action and just give money to africa.
“Eww… screwedup” (and then bursts into laughter -_-) Told you I’d put the photos on the internetz, didn’t I?!
It’s quite a bad shot where I missed the face since I took it too quickly and my hand slipped, but I can see how I can potentially see how this can be a strong anti-child trafficking poster given more details >< (lol at the fat short fingers).
The product used in the photo is not anti-paedo cream or paedo cream (heh). Instead it is Shody Bop’s Bust Firming Cream on her hands (wtf) and their “Try Me” bottle was almost empty (WTF). I do not want to know how people been sampling it in the shop >< And perhaps this is a product with advertising potential through a well-shaped model or something (never fails as an ad) — better yet if results truly can be seen through a Before After photo comparison >< That being said I think these things are very hard to prove effect if any, there might even this placebo effect. And as an extension, if it can firmen bust can it make other things firmer also?
All in all, I insist on the efficacy of playing on people’s kind heart, good will and fear of sagging losing beauty and health as a good marketing strategy.
Self-praise: getting the joys of Give and Take at once.
I have been doing my SGC and having looked at some other people’s I realise that I suck quite badly in terms of using language to offer a flattering discussion of myself.
But I have things to compensate for that. Seldom I brag about my achievements, but since there is a general atmosphere of it. I am the bate president this year. I have reached the finals of Ministry of Finance debates this year. While relinquishing my role in the competitive field, I still trained sec ones (bunch of rascals). I have been to Harvard MUN, receiving Honourable Mention and (i very intelligently forgot to mention in the SGC–) Best international delegation.
With all the nice sounding facts been established, I received no form of acknowledgement on honours day, coincidentally from both ccas — which puts me in peasant clothes.
The certificates/acknowledgement/handshake from the school do not matter, for what I have speaks for itself — if I mention it, which I just did.
In fact, I have something better — a story to tell which nobody believes (much like getting 4 for my english). Something more memorable than a usual ceremony (which I would have skipped anyway and arrived in time for reception like last year)
And I have a Riddle. A perplexing one. On a side note, I’m quite disturbed with my pre-occupation with “Causes” rather than “Effects” lately.
Ah, I love Myself.
***
After which I was supposed to have a rare “Gathering of the L” till some time late in the night, but Slutchn pangsehed for his uh, papers, or something. Looks like I’ll meet him some time later.
My dad repeatedly tells this same “You have one bullet. Who do you shoot?” joke even in front of my kid brother.
So I imagined that I had one bullet and it took me more than an hour to think about who would i shoot — a noisy high pitch girl or a smelly guy to endure an hour with. A dilemma between the olfactory and the auditory.
The coho reached the conclusion in a more determined manner since one was overwhelming and during a talk, most people tend to shut up.
After an hour, I reached the conclusion….
Shooting isn’t going to get rid of smell right?
****
Moral of the story (with reference to my olden days in Bates): Showing there is a problem is not enough, nor is showing a solution enough — the two actually have to be linked. Your policy must at least deal with the problem — that, is a good use of a bullet.
Anything else is just a misfire (or trigger happy!)
I like beulah — she’s very generous. Giving away this truck load of IOC notes the -day before my turn-. It was a bit of a pain to read upside down scans of her handwriting tho. She then let me spread it to a few people — very magnanimous
In return, I gave her eight pieces of clorets the next day.
I didn’t expect her to eat all eight at once -_-
“you didn’t ask me to share!”
“I thought it was very very strongly implied”
And later on, she shamelessly asked me for more clorets still as if taking eight at once was not enough!
Insatiable.
Oh, I have one day left to do my self-written testimonial on how awesome and desirable my character is.
I constantly make mention of how I need to thank One Person for my most important schooling experience which prepares me for real-life in future.
How do i phrase the following, which is intentionally in a long chunk of rambly prose, into a sophisticated, subtle yet real manner: that my main preparation for real-life and the working world comes in the form of my honed flexibility and negotiation from young — five grueling years of having to deal with the tasks, demands and even menial administrative issues. In practical skills, I am experienced in tasks like booking rooms, making phone calls with strangers, drafting contact lists, sending mass emails, scheduling and drawing keys, as well as under-the-table deals. On a broader level, even learning to endure harsh criticism, formulate solutions of a mutually satisfying compromise and making subtle requests. All while following a strict hierachical structure which has to be abided by. And in technical bureaucratic terms, I’ve learnt the consequences of not following it. Then learning to reply to emails and smses quickly, not be absent, and to give updates whenever possible. In terms of mentality, I found a balance between doing what is in the interest of the organization and what is permissible within the hierachical approval. A balance between hoping for concrete action without going into idealistic ambitions. Not to mention needing to get responses/information from people on top and below, dealing with situations where people do not provide you with what you need or do what is delegated. To need to get some things done despite the tight constrains imposed, how not to think out of the box — heck, this shows more than Odessey of the Mind spontaneous problem solving. To the extent, many things have become habitual and ingrained in instinct.
All while balancing with My Primary Occupation and its preparations. (I think quite often the secondary occupation ends up demanding more than the primary occupation). All while I was under —
And that was when I was three to four years younger even. Yes it might be the real world, but not yet for someone that age then, I’d think. It might not have been pleasant then — but what doesn’t kill you makes you…
All subjects I can read by myself. Most of its contents probably won’t have much application anyway (Hah! Chemistry!). Social interaction can be easily found outside of school.
This one — truly makes the school a microcosm of society.
But back to the question — how the hell do I phrase my Greatest Takeaway
Wow, I just derived a new word from a typo of Liberation. Much like how PWN came from OWN or was it the other way round. In a manner akin to Stockholm syndrome, i only read Hamlet *after* my sec four ioc. I still need to make an effort to purge the floating quotes in my head.
Perhaps not as dramatic as dumping my chemistry textbook into a chinese firepot (LMAOZEDONG, oh and i told gremlin that the F4 should dump Dr Doom into a ALL DESTROYING Chinese Backyard Furnace to turn useful metal into useless metal) but I threw away my jotter books of IOC notes. This is perhaps one of the few times I worked too hard — all for one subject, one out of twenty four extracts and half of 25% of the marks. In the grander scheme of things — really not worth it. Usually I would say I could have done more, or rather doing more wouldn’t change anything (at least I stick to this). Still, I could have done more. I could have memorised. Could have pre-pared a structure, intro, conclusion — but i didn’t and didn’t need to.
(Start a semi-Sunday Post)
But i think God was on my side. I drew an extract in my favour. Due to the way the system is shaped, perhaps skill is no longer what is assessed or even hard work — it has become a roulette of luck. Grade differences end up being determined on who draws an extract they want and have prepared for. rather unfair.
It does not take one with acute perceptivity to realise: It is because of my above statement which implies to some that God didn’t help them. Even those who pray more, pray harder, attend church more (or at least, at all), arguably more “righteous” in thought and deed. Why, like that? I don’t know, maybe my Dear Rebecca knows. But I don’t care — so be it.
It’s a complex question I cannot understand and will probably look into soon– but I give thanks anyway. And it definitely can-not be my own brilliance (inasmuch as i already am damn brilliant) in a random draw. Take note of the Question above — i do not have the answer to such a reality now, but i shall go in search of it. Be it medicine or placebo, I still think it is better to have than not to have. I am one who embraces the placebo effect.
(semi-sunday post put on hold)
.
Then again, litberation my subdued dragon -pft-, life goes on with me having to complete two lit essays in two days. Lit is going to be a pimple with four more books remaining.
Ch**b**, it seems to keep rising in difficulty level even as my skill seems to rise. It’s like an RPG game. And how apt it is — the final ib paper is English. Like a Final Boss.
****
Whatever, it was a day of (momentary) liberation and celebration for lucas and i (separately though — good day in office). The shit has ended — as much as I enjoyed the commentary and reading Lear. I can say goodbye to the related 6 lit texts for the rest of eternity (like i did to chemistry two years ago)
Then I went out with gremlin and had a ho day. I haven’t for about a month by now (–which saves me a lot of money on a weekly basis. I have surplus left over from two weeks before, though also due to spending less days in school). Ending the day or rather the IOC month with a sense of closure and renewal/recontinuation of life somewhat. At least I didn’t have a meaningless wandering of not knowing what to do after ioc like the coho
Except that it -as a result- feels like a Friday already. Then again it must be because my “Friday” been on wednesday for the past four to five weeks. Even this week itself, involved coming damn late and leaving damn early. Tomorrow might be my first proper day in school
Assuming i’m not sick again, that is.
A random crude poem. I shall test the extremes of poetic interpretation. What if I just strung together a few insults which I have used lately, each on different people to describe different situations. Can one truly derive an interpretation and central theme? This is perhaps the last day of my poetic insanity.
The Potluck
O! Tears and Pisswallops.
Such mangled meat on bicycles.
Like doctors with cameras squeezing through hoola hoops
Where angels send forth their golden rain upon unknowing children.
Your codpiece is so small I could barely fit a finkleberry
Your (BLANK) is a pandora’s box of rancid diseases where gonnorhea would be a Consolation Prize
I refuse to satisfy you like your dog did with your grandmother
I prefer a mongolian beaver with rabies that has not bathed for years
I find as much joy as a maiden who cannot stop bleeding
You truly are a water retaining pimple at the corner in my eye.
I proclaim more love for a cheap german bucket of manure.
And as privates ukuleles are to wanton boys are we to the gods, they play with us for sport.
I am a firm believer of trade. What one does not have should be taken from another who receives a compense of proportional value. It’s a coincidence of mutual benefit.
Especially especially especially if one loses nothing, with self-interest not compromised at all, with in effect no change in their situation, one should give. The long-term prospect of gain is higher. I believe in pragmatic generosity — at the very least there is the chance of eventual repayment arising out of gratitude. It would be extremely myopic not to notice this. Ah, but I don’t believe in the need for Negative Reciprocity, for I am a Higher Being. (I pause to think to what extent I practise what I preach)
****
On a more subtle and cynical level, I find the intentional seeking of obstacles akin to being an obstacle in thought while not in deed. Much like instigation.
I also find a difference between Principle and Excuse. When we fall back on a more nice sounding reason (principle) as a mere excuse to cover for real reasons. “Mr Speaker, on behalf of exploited and underpaid child labourers in Argentina and their continually accelerating destruction of the environment, I urge you to implement and enforce trade barriers against Argentinian products. Our country cannot condone such irresponsible acts at the expense of the helpless.” Bollocks. Self interest is still at heart — that of protecting their own domestic industries from cheaper products. (I get quite annoyed whenever I read the Labour and Environment arguments in my econs text) Or something like alleviation of the patient’s suffering and the emotional turmoil of the family as a Principle Argument for euthanasia to mask an excuse of saving the hospital bills of your dying relative.
And as I learnt in Bates, the wonders of Principle is that it is an unwavering magic bullet, like Security against Terrorism. “Sir, why would you continue the barriers if they have no effect on reducing child labour but in fact encourages the exploitation of cheap labour to meet higher costs“. This is where I learnt in Bates later on, that you do not use a Practical/Consequences rebuttal on a Principle argument.
****
Cognitive dissonance once again. Perhaps we aren’t all rational. We are raionalizing beings rather than rational beings.
Actions do not result from reason. We make the actions first on a whim, and then substantiate, rationalise and come up with the reasons later.
For an entirely hypothetical example, I might want to go US to study. Then I realise my SAT cmi. I hence convince myself that UK is a better place — and reasons quite convincing in fact. It’s really an extension of the Fox and sour grapes fable.
This is probably because in most dilemmas of a certain level, the points are mainly moot and — some Aspects gain more than other Aspects. It becomes a matter of Prioritizing Aspects — which is subjective and easily changed. “I think money is more important than rest” can easily be changed to “I think rest is more important than money” by choosing what to prioritize over the other.
25/8
Time now: 1am. Woke up naturally without alarm clock. Had 7 hours of sleep (: — I happen to think that sleep deprivation is more unnatural than Sodomy. I feel quite good now. (Then again waking up at midnight is almost vampirically unnatural as well)
Now listening to piano pieces and eating clorets
Schedule for today: Prepare to go to school in about 5-6 hours time.
Stay in school for two hours. (no lessons anymore)
Go home. And prepare for the last (almost) dunno-how many hours.
26/8
Waltz into school at 9 (legitimately — my exams at 10)
I’ll wait around for an hour-
- then I’ve something to look forward to after that, at last.
****
Preparing oral commentary is actually quite fun — relative to the other english texts. I wonder why. It’s been a good excuse to not do other work.
I think we’re doing it wrong by attempting to mug every extract. But what to do, we’re in Singapore and we’re doing English commentary while being Asian — our comparative advantage is then diligence!
Though I think the Curse of IOC for those who work very hard is that the one extract they leave out, will be the one extract they get discounting al they’re earlier work. That is as good as having not studied at all. Hence, the emphasis should be on skill set.
Whatever, I don’t think that will happen to me — I shall get an easy extract, but either way, I should be able to just whack anything.
Recently I actually asked someone (of higher level prowess) to fully convince me to go for something I already have an inclination and bias to go for. Just needed the practical arguments, and mooting the counter-arguments. A bit more than picking between Coffee and Tea.
At least I didn’t have to resort to Flipping A Stick Upwards — and seeing if it went straight up, more to the left or to the right.
****
In Aesop’s fables, there was this Fox who decided to give up attempting to reach a bunch of grapes, thinking they probably were sour anyway. Of course the fox didn’t know whether or not the grapes were sour or not, it was merely an added justification for his (laziness) inability to reach the grapes. Hence the saying Sour Grapes — though I assure you that when I use such a phrase on people, it is even less flattering
Say you do X for Reason A. And it turns out that Reason A fails, or at least was not as you expected. You are and will be for some time stuck with X, or at least can’t be bothered to move. You then substantiate it later on with peripheral reasons like B,C,D (like I met good people here, my kids add to the bright of life even tho they make a din when their young and cause trouble when they are old) — to re-assure yourself that you made the right choice. It seems that abstract nouns or intangible principles may often be used as Reasons B,C,D.
I think the other line of thought is that X is Bad now. But Y,Z, etc will be just about as bad. You would feel the same “grass is greener on the other side” sentiment– hence you are indifferent.
Perhaps this is where the “Grass is greener on My side” mentality arises. On one hand, it removes the greed and drive to move to the other side, which often means risks given the information assymetry. On the other hand, it could remove the drive for self improvement and a route out of manure. Thing is most of us don’t -really- need that much Level Up — we’re just greedy. But with reference to the second argument, even if there were to be a drive for advancement — such a perpetual mindset of wanting more will lead to an unending dissatisfaction regardless of the level of advancement.
For the pessimist, the easiest to believe is that even though what you’re in now is crap, your other alternatives are just about as crap.
*****
Oh, I just came back from this talk by a Scholar and her life serving bond. Sure didn’t sound like a advertising campaign — it seemed more like a Psychological Crucible.
This is where the Real cognitive dissonance comes in. “No la, I think I can, I don’t think I’ll end up like others. I THINK i like what they do”. It’s almost like a smoker going “ah, not all of them get lung cancer right!”
In 1534 King Henry VIII made himself the Supreme Head of the Church after getting excommunicated over divorcing Catherine of Aragon. Heh, the politics — and it shows that as long as you can bludgeon the Men in charge into submission, anything goes. And from henceforth the Archbishop of Canterbury was selected by a monarch.
If you ask me, that sounds like selecting a judge or pres-
Logically speaking, with no knowledge contextually or of any evidence, wouldn’t it be in the interest of The Monarch to pick someone that can meet his interests.
“can’t you pick someone else who is equally feeble and weak-willed?”
“THERE IS NO SUCH MAN”
******
With some reference to my History EE (on a certain country) and TOK essay. In order to impose social control, several steps must be taken.
First, what is to be done and what is not to be done has to be defined — usually in an arbitrary manner and in your interest. Following which, Labels or catch-all terms have to be implemented — using Language as a WoK to reinforce the first point. The process requires popular support, which is a self-perpetuating force once people believe -that- is the right thing. Then, consequences, real or/and usually imaginary, are made known.
The most important tool of social control is Fear. Perhaps followed closely by genuinely deluded purposeful fervor. So be it avoiding the unknown consequences after-death, receiving 72 Fruits, or risking a war from the north west — The moment people think they are doing the Right Thing as per labelled, if not already avoiding bad consequences, everything goes easily.
Lord Graveney: “If I do not give my Land to the Church, then what?”
Bishop of London: “Then you will assuredly go to hell.”
*****
On another note, any seller of products must always stress its health benefits no matter what. Health benefits are hard to gauge/measure, since they are meant to be subtle and long term and often have a strong appeal. If a drink/food product can market itself to extend life and its quality and prevent what we fear — it has a strong selling point. After all, who doesn’t want to be slim/buff/last longer than and likewise, it can be used to impose against social ills — we all fear blindness cancer. In his book, “The Duty and Advantage of Early Rising”, The Methodist John Wesley even claimed that staying in bed was physically unhealthy as the warm sheets made the flesh soft and parboiled, and the nerves unstrung. Yet, I find it most difficult to evaluate statistical/scientific findings. But it sounds like it can be used to sell Magic Stones.
All in all, this is attributed to people’s fear and uncertainty of the unknown — that which cannot be confirmed but possible enough.
****
On a completely unrelated note,
“What did God do to the Sodomites?”
“I do not know my Lord, but I can’t imagine it used to be worse than what they used to do to each other!“
To some extent, I disagree with a certain line of thought, which spoke of 1. how we will continue to suffer even with God 2. but at least we are not suffering alone. That as a supposed pragmatic reasoning to convince people.
On the first point, it is contradictory to the very basis of religion (all religions in fact) — Hope and a means of help. What else could prayer be for apart from seeking help to get out of suffering. Even Czarist Russian peasants knew better. The fact is (and some times we do feel ashamed of, but doesn’t change the fact) — we go to God when we need help the most, like examinations. This is akin to the USSR reallowing religion during the Great Patriotic War. Furthermore, presenting God as a path out of suffering seems more pragmatic and rationally convincing than “not suffering alone”. Even if it is a slim hope.
On the second point, not suffering alone — sounds quite warm and nice on the surface, but is it of any significance? First, not suffering alone doesn’t lessen suffering nor change the fact that you’re still suffering. Second, there are many other ways to not suffer alone — like having other people suffer with you Third, extending your logic, if it is that important to not suffer alone, we should try to make others suffer with us. That sounds plain sadistic and psychologically, it almost sounds delusional — i really might as well have an imaginary friend to project my suffering onto in my head. Though I don’t think the thought will make me feel any better. Fourth and above all, even if we discount the earlier four points: eh? Resurrection doesn’t sound very much like suffering leh — so how’s that suffering with me..
Titled: Any of the lines below.
You are all Coffee, and I am Tea.
There is going to be a small difficulty.
You ask me not to worry.
Amidst the Mirrored Soliloquy.
You have a cunning plan to Unwind Reality,
I find it unlikely.
So please disprove me.
(though, who knows, I might have something still in my Hidden Valley…
****
Upon hindsight, I think the Cancelling should be renamed The Correcting, a pun on the Correct Thing — to mock the artificiality of correctness. And Correcting could be a verb, noun or adjective! As a result, I am utterly annoyed with titles! So the generic method would be to use any of the lines below. Alternatively I can do it the shakespeare way — which means to say that a play about my life would be named….
…. ”Lloyd“. The Shakespearan title has as much an astronomic impact of surprise as a reputably stupid repeat offender of stupidity stupidly doing something stupid again .
In mocking the Evil of Literature, I have tragically become exactly like them…. and lost my sanity. How how how how.
******
There are three small problems with poetry.
First, misinterpretation. I have a feeling that tone is a subject so subjective that it lends itself to the tendency to be misinterpreted (like above). Second, uninterpretation. somethings are so hidden that no one knows what the hell they mean despite the cunning crafting (of one in each section above). And perhaps it doesn’t matter what is written, it is what is read that matters. Third, interpretation. String some random words to rhyme with a starting point derived from a nice sounding line, perhaps with no meaning.
*****
…like a mindgame secretly)
On decision making processes — it’s technical.
Today we were thought to make decisions by using a decision making matrix. It attributes a quantifiable weight to various priorities and matches it with actions to take which have an attached quantifiable effectiveness measure.
There are a few problems with this. Most obviously, priorities and effectiveness cannot be quantified so simply on a number scale. To begin with, I’ve never believed the On a scale of 1 to 10 thing. Second, this isn’t so much a dilemma resolving method, rather it is a Solution-picking method — the underlying assumption is that you already know your priorities and what you want. Third, which is closely linked to the second, it assumes that your various solutions are mutually exclusive. If my objective is to have more time, I won’t pick one of three (say, quitting cca, stopping piano and stopping work) – i’d pick All of the above. In other words, there really is no dilemma which the Matrix solves.
Simply put, it cannot help resolve simple To be or not to be dilemmas like should I have coffee or tea?
Instead (I’m thinking this up as I go), perhaps decision making is weighed entirely on its effects, short-term and long term costs and benefits, as well as probability of success — all linked to overall happiness. Of course, there is sometimes the Moral factor — in considering its impact on others and whether you give a damn about them. However, Morals are meant to add to the Weighing Process rather than becoming the immediate arbiter.
Then there always is the “Whatever the hell I like” criteria — or in TOK terms, Emotion — maybe it’s not so technical. i think I can put all these into an equation.
In evaluating effects, decisions are bound to benefit some Aspects more than other Aspects. Assuming a clash of interest, these Aspects are then to be weighed against each other with their further effects on other Aspects taken into account. While importance cannot be quantified and given say, 10 points, the importance of Aspects can be compared with each other -- i.e. free time which is useful in terms of rest and work, is more important than lessons, which aren’t useful — the conclusion is then simple .
At the same time, I warn against forsaking everything for a single Aspect. For two reasons: 1) The need for diversification. It’s like putting all your bloody eggs in one basket. Furthermore, we probably don’t know what we want anyway– what we want is temporal as well, and we’ll probably regret sacrifices later when we realise that some Aspects are really less important (Bates, which I sure as hell will never regret leaving early). 2) Dimininishing marginal returns. Time can afford to be allocated elsewhere (sleep) without compromising much on your Aspect of choice. In other words, not worth it.
*****
And I can’t help but to recall my month long dilemma between HL math SL english and the opposite. I’m actually surprised I changed — i seldom do. So far I’m not regretting it — and if it doesn’t adversely affect uni courses, better still. In a counter-intuitive manner, I picked short-term enjoyment (and slack) over long term. Perhaps also it was more of a get-the-hell-out-of-that-class rather than get-the-hell-out-of-math. Either way I find HL math crippling in more than one way. I can settle the long-term problems when they actually arise. (Which actually isn’t very smart-sounding, its almost like “I’ll figure how to get out after I set the traps off.” instead of “I’ll try not to set the traps off”)
I’m never going to regret it though.
*****
On a more light-hearted note, our ex-bate teacher was doing the lesson op. And shaw went “Quit cca will be most effective since it affected my academics the most” and I went “How could you say such a thing!”. How ironic (he got niaowed by her, I didn’t. Heh)
I have a poem. For real, this time. It is called The Cancelling. Because I believe thatit is only considerate for interpretation to be spelt out — It follows a strict rigid structure of four stanzas of four lines with four syllables a line with an AAAA AAAA rhyme scheme. (including the title). Its key literary feature is none other than The Cancelling. It brings out the theme of secrecy and the futile attempt to erase things from history, memory and the public’s eye.
The Cancelling
In bed lying,
wearing doing nothing.
Only thinking,
of suffering about something.
Fantasizing Contemplating
Without stopping.
Stop erasing worrying,
No one’s watching. God is watching.
Sun is setting, Head is spinning,
Passions rising. Fever rising.
In bed kissing, In bed resting
Fornicating. Medicating
While you’re sleeping,
and not looking.
I am sleeping,
with your sibling.
I was making unwholesome commentary with my coho the other day by bastardising a concept which sounds desirable on the surface — Nature is fair. Everyone is different. And what some are lacking, they make up for in other areas.
People are born (and somewhat predestined) with different talent sets or Factor Endowments, such as intelligence, face, body, strength — if you want to look at the micro-level, it’s about different body parts, the brain, skin, arms etc. (i.e. nice face might be compensated by shoulders or whatever) If you want to look at the bigger picture, things like family background, luck, general likeablity, health and maybe even musical ability come into consideration. It depends on how you define your scope. If you really want to push it, maybe even include Virtue and moral righteousness. Though I think that Anything character-related is double-edged by its by-products, if not subjective and inconsistent.
It’s like the Dice Roll for determining your RPG character’s HP, MP, ATK, DEF, SPD and luck at the start of the game — with limited units to ration among various skill sets. It’s like drawing up a budget and where government spending should be directed.
It is because of concepts like these that The Bimbo and The Dumbjock were born. My opinion? That’s not due to a trade-off like Guns or Butter. That’s merely an evolutionary Consolation Prize.
***
With what/who is on my mind while writing this post — this really might as well be a (mean and unwholesome) tribute to a specific person. The very reason the topic arose! And it is apart from the brain.
(Of course this might just be a Ploy to make you point out a person, one good endowment and one poor endowment — all for my amusement)
I took the car home with my mum’s friend the other day. And she commented, “what a nice field you have — you’re lucky to be in this school”
I agreed with her. Any unluckier, i might have gotten lower or higher for that matter, and not be in this school. I may very well be in somewhere which I might have wnated to go previously (without sufficient information and foresight) without knowing about the perhaps higher stress or different lifestyles elsewhere. It is moments like this that the powerless Man thanks the omniscient God.
And overall, I still enjoy what the school provides (and has provided) inasmuch as I think that some days are a waste of time and I’m better off working from bed. But in terms of an experience, I still would prefer it compared to somewhere else. After all, I’d think its easy on a whole, in terms of matching skill sets I already had an advantage in anyway (and here I am needing to prepare for 24 extracts soon). It’s all about suiting the individual needs of people — some fit, some don’t. Everyone’s different.
And I replied, “It’s only so nice, because it’s fake. It’s not real.“
Think not about the past, it has passed.
Think not about the future, it might not matter.
Everything is temporal.
Think of time as a film roll of frames. (Not quite original)
The Past, Present, Future are all different frames.
The You in each time frame is different.
The Mind bridges the three stages through memory and expectations.
Both are inconsequential.
(In the manner of a motivational poster:)
We ought to only live within the Current Frame.
*****
At present, I’m quite bothered by something which is quite much irrational. Almost plagued.
It is not so much the thought which is irrational. It is the subtle opposition I have to the thought — I shouldn’t.
I mean, I have learnt how Language and labels affect emotions which shift the premises and start/end-points behind which Reason seeks. Language, even without meaning, by seeming to have meaning, is a weapon. I’m an orator, I would know about the Cunningness behind Linguistics. (Incidentally I read this chapter on General Linguistics the other day, its quite interesting to read but its written in an unreadablle style — ironically by Linguistic specialists)
Either way, it would be good to get my mind entirely off.
So it has become an excuse to either over-indulge in work (which I know some of my friends are doing as a form of Escapism) or to have a Orange soco. Hrm!
Ah, and all thats on my mind now is a happy little song–
“Well, the poor keep getting hungry,
And the rich keep getting fat.
Politicians change,
But they’re never going to change that.
You and me, girl,
We got the answer so easy you won’t believe,
All we gotta do is -”
****
I think soon I will write a criticism of Thinking.
Crap, no more orange juice. Oh well, looks like i will have to take the second without… Reminds self to buy ice green tea soon.
I was wondering if how nonsense it would be to put down on my testimonial that I read about medicine when whatever I have done/want to do has nothing to do with it. I mean, I have read quite a bit about the knee, and read a lot more about painkillers (codeine for instance) — I might even know about the chemical structure, effects and process more so than a chemistry student!
But science is useful as long as it is framed in the context of its social implications — for instance, its History/Economics. Both of which sound quite interesting (especially the first) and I will probably take a look during my long Mental Holiday of two years. Together with this book on Tea which caught my attention.
Perhaps it might show a variety of general knowledge, but more significantly, I find the idea of an interviewer (who specialises in some humanity subject) going O_o, when wanting to ask about what you read, amusing. I could even make up things like “A History of Modern Gynaecology and Technological Advancements” by Dr. S.C. Rutom.
Of late, I have been thinking about my friends — mainly the few whom I haven’t seen for a long time (or even talk to online for that matter) Somehow though, I know we’re still cool. Perhaps its the similarities between us and the differences in these areas of similarities as well as the common experiences shared.
I’d think — a gauge of whether your friends will last depends on how important the “Unifying Factor” (i.e. school, as a meeting place and as a discussion topic) is — such that when the Unifying Factor is no longer there, things still continue. And of course, whether or not you meet them outside. As the second needs time to tell for now, I can think of three people off-hand. One of whom I haven’t met since the start of year.
Looking at commonalities, they show a degree of intelligence, some form of critical outlook on life and perhaps certain short-term/ long-term, subtle/obvious problems to deal and manage with. (and have a liking for food and idle conversation)
Then, in the coldest of terms, there are some who are quite clearly party acquaintances and nothing more, with not much lasting affection for. And others because you’re so damn brilliant at work of work. But that really is at the other end of the spectrum in order to be identified and labelled as such.
Not often I write a personal-based post. I’m wondering how a certain someone is doing though — it must be all the coincidences time after time after time outside.
In as much as my mantra of realism involves “One unchanging reality: Everything is temporal”, we all have a Right to Hope — for the few good apples in the basket.
All that being said, people (especially the trivial) tire me. The lesser, the better.
****
It’s 1. I should be sleeping. I have school tomorrow. I have difficulties though. Maybe I will sleep in Chapel tomorrow since there is no assembly to sleep at. Or I’ll write my SGC during one of the useless classes tomorrow. Phrase bad things in a good way without lying, since language behind labels is about perspective..
How do I bring out the idea of “Humility in Brilliance and Brilliance in Humility” subtly? Maybe Latin. It’s almost like “Working in Sleep and Sleeping in Work“!
This is from a blog I read frequently and it invites the reader to think. It is in line with my belief that moral imposition (i.e. no homosexuals in church.) is secondary to preaching the love of God. I personally think between a homosexual christian and a homosexual non-christian, the choice is simple and logical — except to the overly-legalistic perhaps.
Though I take things further to say that Man utilises (subjective) Interpretation to impose their (objective) personal views on others. It’s an old school thing — I have had some (years of) basic training in manipulating the interpretation of evidence to prove a point.
Interestingly, the early (or perhaps even not so early) church seemed to have less of a problem with poverty and misery. I find it most absurd to be accepting of poverty, unhappiness and human suffering yet attack vehemently homosexuality, deviance and vices. This is not because of God, but because of what Man *thinks* will “please God”.
.
If the bible (God’s word) doesn’t say anything about it (i.e. cigarettes), just use the catch all term: “Will that make God happy!” (as Izzy guilt trips Beulah occasionally for fun, and that which I learnt from my chinese church.) So broad is this catch-all term that it can apply to exercising regularly, saving the environment, and even reading the newspaper to not having a hobby that absorbs all your time (the hobby/child/loved-one becomes your idol).
*****
The reference (the first four letters are a coincidence):
http://findhorn.blogspot.com/2009/08/christian-monolithism.html#links
Though, even when coherent with my beliefs, I somehow sense a certain contradictory feel behind the argument. (it’s an Old School thing — able to pick up contradictions and label it to the adjudicator without being able to exactly put into words and explain how it contradicts, which is why i have my Teammate for that!) Then again, that’s usually the feel for any stance that seeks a middle ground.
I have a theory! I have mentioned the topic before but from a different angle.
Children of those who came from the North of the Wood Lands to migrate to the Southern Island have a higher level of intelligence and brilliance (note: not hard work — that one comes from Further Further North). Their parents have a degree of refusal to accept their systemic fate, have a drive that seek change, a sharp awareness of plausible alternatives and a keen opportunism. That is, assuming all other things (like environment and conditions) being equal — though that is the main difficulty. Leaving room for exceptions.
It’s like how being born in the lusty stealth of nature take more composition and fierce quality.
Yet, I think I might be making a baseless assertion. First, the numbers are smaller to begin with and hence statistical comparison with the Southern Locals cannot be drawn and my theory cannot be proven. Second, intelligence and brilliance cannot be quantified either. Especially when i have been vague about what “brilliance” entails.
Oh what a good 9 to 10 hours of sleep! About half a day before I leave the house.
**********
Sometimes, literature (boo) and history (yay) are inter-twined. Particularly so in theology. History involves an element of literature to be studied as sources and literature involves an element of historical context.
In preparing for King Lear, I cannot help but to feel it to be similar in a preparation for a history (in particular international relations — because human relations are just about the same!) paper. For the following reasons:
- Assembling a time line of events
- Remembering and mentioning Act and Scene numbers have the same effect as remembering and mentioning the Years the events occured
- Studying the characters, their interactions and motivations.
- Inferring what the message is and Purpose.
- Having a strong understanding of what happened before the event (context and causation) and what happened after (consequences)
- If you ask me, the Eastern WW2 theatre is like a subplot of the Western theatre.
- There is a shift in power to be studied
- I have a primary source and a secondary source (Notes)
- Of an entire chronology of events, only certain extracts events are handpicked relevant to study.
And apart from the study of propoganda, the main difference is I do not have to care about emotions and effect on the audience from a stage direction or repetition or rhyming couplet involved in history. Nor do I have to count the number of syllables in a Source (that which I refuse to do)
Having done a similarities and differences comparison above, IOC is really quite like History.
That ends warm up and the arguably semi-constructive use of time. Lear’s actually quite enjoyable — what is painful is the CB! I’d rather this end soon (as usual). The sooner the better.
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