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I laid me down upon a bank,
Where Love lay sleeping;
I heard among the rushes dank
Then I went to the heath and the wild,
To the thistles and thorns of the waste;
And they told me how they were beguiled,
Driven out, and compelled to the chaste.
I went to the Garden of Love,
And saw what I never had seen;
A Chapel was built in the midst,
Where I used to play on the green.
And the gates of this Chapel were shut
And “Thou shalt not,” writ over the door;
So I turned to the Garden of Love
That so many sweet flowers bore.
And I saw it was filled with graves,
And tombstones where flowers should be;
And priests in black gowns were walking their rounds,
And binding with briars my joys and desires.
The Garden of Love – By William Blake.
I just settled my Blue Ocean App. It happens that many people are somewhat puzzled that I am not applying to the Tsungli Yamen. A similar response to me not applying to Oxbridge. I attribute it to a moderate lack of ambition and willingness to compete arising from a failure to see the Necessity of Having “The Top”.
Here’s a more detailed dissection (with its assumptions highlighted) of why I am not keen on applying to the Tsungli Yamen despite (or rather, because of) the fact that most people are head over heels for it:
I gather that the main reason people want to work in the Yamen is because of its reputation and prestige. In my opinion, prestige is a form of sugar-coating unless it is a means to an end (says the CV-hos). By itself, it is not much value — think of it as giving your toiler a nice title like “Officer”. His pay and work remains the same, but he has a nicer ring to it to feel good and tell people.
My line of argument is essentially that it is precisely the Yamen’s reputation and prestige attracts two types of people: Idealists or the Self-Serving. Both can actually be quite good at producing results.
Four caveats: First, I’m merely generalising, there are always exceptions. Second , I am not saying that these are not present elsewhere, just that it is particularly so for the Tsungli Yamen. Third, I have no evidence. Four, I admit I practise a double-standard (as always), as somehow I do not apply these criticisms to other Boards.
The Idealists are defined as those who genuinely have a heart to serve and genuinely believe in the possibility of turning water into wine as long as they put enough effort and thought. They are characterised by their energy and enthusiasm.
The Self Serving are defined as the profit-driven who would put enough effort and thought into climbing the ladder, with the objective of money and prestige in mind. They are characterised by hypocritical politicking, results oriented and diligent workers when people can see them work.That is the extreme. Most people are self-serving as it is rational and practical, it is the reason we are told why we go to school.
If you are an Idealist, I assert that you will eventually become disillusioned at how not everyone shares your hopes and how not much is done. Or rather, your over-glamourised expectations of policy work and being a high-flying diplomat are replaced by gruntwork at the Ministerial-authority of Waterworks.
If you are Self-Serving, I assert that you will eventually become dissatisfied at how everyone in the large pool is performing well and competing hard as well. Going by mathematical probability, it is unlikely that the average Official in a large pool is shifted up. Furthermore, you start to realise that some of your peers who seemingly failed to get an offer to” rule the country”, earn a lot more and now “own the country”. (Explains a common saying) You end up as an Oarsman instead of a Helmsman.
Due to the competitive crucible of the selection process and the general mindset of education with the purpose of Striking It Rich eventually, I will assert that the majority are self-serving rather than idealists. I am tempted to make the assumption that 1. If you are selected due to exam results+interview smokebomb+school reputation, you are Intelligent. 2. And if you are intelligent, you can’t be an idealist. (In my opinion, the first assumption is more shakey than the second)
Here is the crux: even if you are neither of the two categories, many others will still be, and you have to handle them..
Of course, those who have made up their mind about applying by now, would have already psychoed themselves into thinking that they’re in neither of the categories, my assumptions are wrong, and they are Spehhshuhh so they’ll be fine.The hope/chance of becoming a Ministerial-authority or part-there-of is too appealing.
With that said, I wish all who are applying the best of luck and to think through things carefully. Many will try, but few will get. I wish those who do get even more luck on the long arduous journey that follows– to not be disillusioned, to somehow survive and to do well if possible.
Hmm, if i ever change my mind and this piece of writing somehow gets found, then i’ll need a Lot of luck.Then again, if i explain myself well, it might be like those Ex-convicts who convert and become pastors.
I will find out if I change my mind by late February next year.
On my second visit to the School Church, I sat through a discussion on Sin with a bunch of old boys a year older. As usual, I am left with no answers but instead more questions.
First and foremost, I consider ‘Sin’ not to be misdeeds or wrong actions by themselves.
Rather I have two interpretations of sin.
First, ‘Sin’ is a state of being which results from “Original Sin” through Adam. Regardless of our upright behaviour (which is impossible in the first place), sin is present. By implication, it means that our actions do not matter in determining whether we have sinned. By further implication, this means that the Solution would not be our actions either.
The above interpretation is relatively straightforward. But the term “sin” is more commonly used to refer to a “falling short of standards”. And these standards are supposedly defined by God rather than what Man considers to be good and beneficial. Which leads to the question of where do we derive this set of standards from — is it defined by God through text or by society’s interpretation of the text (which I would argue is the case), especially given such broad catch-all phrasing which is almost deliberately generic and vague, giving room for the Man to fill in the gaps with whatever suits his moralising.
As I have pointed out before, if we exclude things like not shaving and not wearing two different types of cloths together, or more commonly, the practice of Usury, why do we retain the parts which condemn homosexuality? How does homosexuality contradict the supposed two principles (Matthew 22:40) which the whole law depends on, that of “love your neighbour as yourself” (Perversely, it actually better fulfills it!) Clearly, most Christians fail to include Homosexual neighbours — again, ambiguity, how do we define a neighbour? Do we exclude that of different race, different religion?
Furthermore, are these even keepable, how many of us truly love God with “all your heart and all your soul and your mind” (WHAT DOES IT EVEN MEAN)? Does it mean self deprivation, no marrying, no pleasure, that TV and computer might be your “Idols” — the possible absurd stretches serve to show its ambiguity, which still begs the question of What Does It Mean.
Are these then deliberately impossible to keep? In that case, what is the reason for bothering to keep the commandments at all if they are not our basis of sanctification? To what extent do we consider the New Covenant to have rendered the Old set of laws void?
I disagree that morality in Christianity is black and white. By the very fact that there are so many different and conflicting opinions , by the very fact that it has no answer for conventional dilemmas such as whether it is justifiable to steal food to survive or whether Chase did the right thing by killing a dictator (in House), by the very fact that the terms and parameters are not laid out clearly, Morality in any area is always a grey and ambiguous area. In my opinion, the Christian set of moral standards is beyond Man’s understanding — yet we attempt to put it in place anyway.
Oh the food (plus ice cream) was good though. I think I ate like a double portion.
I still didn’t get to see what I was looking for today. I bet it‘ll materialise when I’m not there next week.
While watching The Dark Knight, I was perplexed by two questions about the Joker:
1. How does he get so many mobsters and policemen to turncoat and join him — no surprise for the policemen, but the mobsters usually have ‘sworn loyalty’ and a sufficiently high salary by their mob leaders. Everyone knows that high salaries retain loyalty and prevent corruption. If it is not money, what is it? Perhaps some strange ideal or charisma
2. Unlike Batman, the Joker can’t ‘take off his mask’, so how does he go shopping in town on a normal day?
At one point of time, most of us would have wanted to be a doctor or lawyer. Some even policemen. Over time and maturation, our thinking and awareness of the real world changes, if not circumstances, leading to a change in plans. It is precisely because of 1. a lack of information 2. a constantly changing world and 3. a constantly changing awareness, that leads to a constant change in desire and in turn plans. It is for this reason that I do not have much faith in plans.
That being said, while ploughing my way to the 4th chapter of ’The Economic Future in Historical Perspective’ and looked at various ‘old’ issues such as the Industrial Revolution and English Apprenticeship, on top of my rather lengthy reading list — I actually don’t mind lounging in bed and reading and writing.
So my lofty and rather ludicrous ambition is this: in the distant future (at least 2 years+4 years+6years= 12 years time, which makes me at least 30 before starting on another 7 years), I find some way to get money for reading and writing — which mainly involves getting certain higher qualifications/title, if you know what I mean.
What is the likelihood of this being fulfilled? (or rather, what do i think is the likelihood). Rather low. On several grounds:
- Lack of specificity in time period, as seen from the phrase “distant future”
- Lack of specificity in the plan, as seen from the ‘some way’
- Requirement of change in lifestyle and occupation. Extreme changes usually have extreme unlikelihood — as people are change averse.
- In addition to Point 3, probably a high opportunity cost.
- Lack of information of ‘what I’m in for’ — but this is a moot point since it applies for everything.
- Anything can happen.
It is a wee bit ludicrous. Doctor so and so….. Nah.
We’ll see when if the time comes. I regard it as Unlikely for the time being
While stranded at Queenstown Library, I read Arkham Asylum to kill time. It was not the typical action comic book, but was something more like a work of art — like those literature books or films where the plot is secondary, if not negligible, to the style. It gave Batman a more chilling perspective. If anything, madness and throat-slitting with a razor were the motifs in the graphic (at times too graphic) novel.
And like those short stories — the reader is left with a slight ‘huh….is that it?’ sentiment, while the conclusion is nonetheless still a good one.
I will probably re-read it (I think most people won’t catch the ending about Two-face’s choice) but for now I will watch the Dark Knight — probably in two nights time.
Trashy read aside, with all my talk about Economic History, I have borrowed a thick-ass book on ‘The Economic Future in Historical Perspective’. It has essays by authors from each of the universities I’ve set sights on and those which I have said before that I wouldn’t go for. Let’s see how long I can last through this book and what I gain from it.
For now, I just covered the most painful introduction and a chapter on the Industrial Revolution, which is far easier to read than the introduction which claims to be accessible to the lay reader “without having first to acquire the formal, highly abstract vocabulary and mathematical concepts that are so prominent a feature of modern day professional economic writings.“
The good stuff is further at the back such as East Asian development and Health — which gives me an incentive to skip over and glance through quickly clear the earlier stages.
So many many things to do.
Books to read — for enjoyment and intellectual pursuits (I should make a categorical reading list)
People to meet (Mostly in December anyway)
Games to play (especially now that I have borrowed a DS again, like one year ago)
Applications to make, with its required research and writing (I procrastinating till next week and might do a large portion of it while away in Japan)
Shows and movies to watch (now stolen a stash load from gremlin, need to make a list also — Allo Allo is quite good, I finished Season 1 in a night)
So many things to do and only seven weeks of freedom (including the tour in Japan, which SHOULD NOT count as a week of freedom, meaning I only have 6) before seven weeks of Non-freedom.
Then I realise that the best thing is still lazing in bed doing nothing while the sun is still up. Maybe Being is better than Doing.
But didn’t I have plenty of this while preparing for exams already — “ah, I’ll wait till 1230 to start work. Oh no, it’s 1240, I insist on starting on a nice number like 1pm” Before I know it, it’s 1.
Strangely, I’ve had more of this Do Nothing time during exam preparation — stuck between a quandary of no will to continue work yet a sense of guilt that my time “can be better spent” if I were to do things I liked. The end product of this negation while the two elements clash out in a dilemma: Nothing.
That being said, better do while I can right now, in seven weeks I will have two years of truly doing nothing. In a counter-intuitive manner, I might actually be doing more in my attempt to fight brain rot.
I am actually looking forward to see what I’ll get in the seven weeks and after. (Might even say a bit excited) But it cannot in anyway, even under all levels of optimism and self-delusions, be better than what I have right now.
I have a moral obligation to myself to make full use of the remaining seven weeks before the so-called Nation comes to requisition my body (MY BARREH! MY BARREH!). Even then I will not allow my mind to be enslaved and bound by circumstances. I will find a way to make the most of it.
A woman gets home.She sees a pair of unfamiliar shoes in front of the house.
The shoes are huge and dirty — Shoes she had never seen before.
The gate, to her surprise, is unlocked.
One unusual thing after another.
The house is spacious, with many corners to lurk and hide.
Could there possibly be a dangerous ax-wielding psychopath that has slid into the house,
waiting behind the door?
From the size of the shoes, it must be one heavily built man.
Her imagination starts to run wild and she quickly calls her son.
Her son takes a long time to respond…
Turns out that the woman’s son took out a pair of old and over-sized running shoes to go for a leg test/trial run earlier that morning and was too lazy to put it back in the cupboard.
The woman’s son also does not have the habit of locking the doors behind him because it is troublesome, unnecessary and he is overly complacent about Singapore’s safety and security – any further north, and he would double lock the door and gate behind him while carrying a knife.
On top of that, the woman’s son does not have the habit of having any urgency in digging his pocket loaded with many other accesories such as clorets to pick up his ringing phone — assuming that he can even feel the phone vibrating silently.
That aside, the leg test was a painful failure ><, for he was Excused From Running, Marching, Jumping for a reason
and his lunch with his ho was interrupted by his very concerned mother calling to ask about the shoes.
Our imagination and worries are always so much more potent than reality. The truth is usually quite simple, the rest – is just a horror story
Today I went to explore the School Church for their five-part course. The topic today was on the Prodigal Son, which is a story that truly shows the grace and love of God for the son that chose to depart.
Christianity is a seemingly unfair religion given that the Bad Son is as loved as the diligent and loyal Good Son — who expresses his bitterness and resentment, very typical of your moralistic Christian at how much they miss out on.
In my opinion, there are two things which people tend to overlook. First, the son’s eventual bankruptcy is not so much to show the literal impacts of debauchery and gambling, rather it is to show the consequence of being away from God’s provision. Second, I do not think that the son had a repentant heart at all — it was entirely pragmatic on the grounds that his servants had food to eat rather than guilt.
Hence a God of love has been depicted through this parable by Jesus. What I disagree with is the contrast to Darth Vader. The speaker claimed that Darth Vader was different as it was a “Join me or Die” situation for Vader.
Quite clearly “Join me or Die” is an area of similarity rather than difference!With ‘Die’ being eternal damnation where your nether regions are roasted. (Interestingly Vader gave up his life to save his son also, heh
The most glaring contradiction is then: why would a God of loving kindness and mercy create a place like hell?
Some speak of it as a necessary response in any exclusive relationship. Others speak of it as a necessity for justice, which begs the question of how this Justice is inherently vindictive. And this mode of ‘justice’ seems unusual by our current standards — the more moral and law abiding non-Christian goes to hell whereas Hitler or some child-molesting psychopath, if he converted at the last moment, would still go to heaven.
Some then mention how we have a choice to take the route to heaven or route to hell. The thing is, it is not a completely conscious choice if people lack awareness and the information. No sane person would pick hell over heaven — just that people are not sufficiently convinced of its existence or the route.
If God loves Man that much and values choice that much, the question arises — Why can’t God make it more bloody obvious and why are you not given this “choice” that is supposed to be so important be offered directly right at the crossroads of heaven and hell itself?
On a side note, a relationship with God helps us to understand a relationship with Man. I think it’s supposed to be the other way round though >< Maybe because we use our assumptions behind human relationships to interpret how a relationship with God should be. A bit like how Man made God in his own image.
The food was good and plentiful, the people were nice and more importantly, intelligent probably because they were older, at around uni level. At least more intelligent than… And my questions still unanswered. I did not find what I was seeking today. I’ll go back next week.
So I have had rare Steak, Ribs, a buffet of japanese beef and sashimi and tempura, followed by escargots, braised duck and More Beef the next day. Ice cream, cake and five cups of tea in one dinner. Of all these, I only paid for the steak and one third of the ribs. Both were reasonably priced!
I have had a tour-group exploration of orchard road (I find large group outings and orchard quite tiring and boring actually, like a tour group) to spending the day with one person to having a Myself Day
I have watched a horror movie (paranormal) which I seldom watch but thoroughly enjoyed; to watching the sixth season of House at last, which in my opinion is starting to feel like a Soap Opera. I’ll probably finish up the last season of boston legal later or watch a movie from Gremlin.
I have read twenty chapters of Rurouni Kenshin, yet am also halfway through a nonfiction thinking-about-life book like The Freedom Manifesto by Tom Hodgkinson to literature short-stories like Hanif Kureishi’s Midnight All Day.Will probably read some harder reading like E.F Schumacher’s Small Is Beautiful tomorrow or something.
I have had intense physical activity that left me aching in the arms, chest and stomach; to having moderate activity in clearing my room to my current state of inactivity in bed. It is precisely because of the aches and fatigue that I can truly appreciate the inactivity (:
It’s like showering with hot water then cold water. Swinging between extremes is a good thing.
So I have muscular aches from sudden over-exertion, to bone pain in the usual left and small skin injuries covering my chest and shoulders, with a few deeper ones on my back. (I very damaged, only my head and right leg spared)
But if there’s one thing I have not gotten — it is abundance of sleep. But hey, I got more than enough of that during the exam period already (;
Oh and it was my birthday yesterday.
Everything in moderation — even overindulgence. And only the food was expensive, and still only a small portion was on me. Oh and I owe izzy $8
Ah, good life.
It is finally finished, and I am betting that most people did have some form of emptiness initially — with the plans they had for after the exams forgotten, as if it were something that they weren’t used to. Some even say they felt like going home to study, perhaps out of a cycle they’re conditioned to have.
Not for me ^^ Examinations are a period of relaxation, where I actually get more sleep, causing my pimples to improve when others get outbreaks. It is essential to get a good night of sleep to be able to think properly and Recall facts. After the last few weeks of cramming, the storehouse of your mind would already contain the materials, it’s just a matter of extraction (I like this analogy for memory).
That being said, even though I don’t feel any major change in emotion (which I told my parents last night I might be incapable of feeling), I can see from my actions and behaviour that I’m becoming more open, friendly and human-like. Evidently (and obviously) a burden of sorts has been lifted. The fact is — I have more freedom now to read random books, watch random shows, do random things.
With Seven Weeks of Freedom, closely mirroring to how it will follow Seven Weeks of Confinement and Nationalistic Slavery, what then is to be done:
- Cut my nails and shave, which has not been done since the preparation camp week. That being said, I just cut my nails to the shortest it has been in two years, giving me problems opening a shampoo bottle and smsing.
- Clear my room. Still in progress in terms of clearing the piles off my floor. Soon the table and I have no idea how to lug all these down the stairs.
- Exercise – mainly upper body since I use lower body enough excuse lower body. I will laugh though if my self-training ends up tougher than the C9 training. Heh.
- Apply the UK universities. Probably a joint economics degree somewhere (depending on whether I can mindgame persuade the Bureaus to support) Need to find out more about the process, then decide on whether I really would place pure Economic History at LSE (more about this later) as an option, then get to writing the statement.
- Apply to my next bureau, which I’m actually more in favour of even though it seems less subscribed to — maybe the two factors are linked. Unlike most people, I not bothering with the Most Popular One.
- Pursue childish otaku pleasures — I’m going to find some old manga that I haven’t read for years and indulge, like Rurouni Kenshin (Samurai X) or something. I blame the piece-meal study of the rise of modern japan. I can’t actually remember anything else I used to read, Oh and Monster, intellectual storyline.
- Read books — now more into the random and light hearted genre. The harder stuff and more academic can wait for next year when I desperately try to prevent my brain from rotting.
- Go pilgriming — I going to continue my theological exploration in search of answers (and probably end up with more questions)
- Go out damn a lot — there are some people whom I haven’t seen for a long time and need to meet up with after As.
- Into my hands, I obtain some Spirits. (legally)
Not only in the sense that it is an intellectual and psychological challenge, or a pursuit with an element of luck,
it is elusive, it is delusional, it is temporal.
It is Not a race, a war or a gamble (might be a buffet though).
It is able to make people do things they won’t normally do and won’t need to do.
It is made out to be more significant than what it eventually is.
Your father was dead since Chapter Ten and you were free from being a slave to begin with.
Not only is everything temporal, everything is predetermined and inevitable. Those who don’t can end up with more than those who do.
You don’t find your destiny, your destiny finds you.
(And she usually drags you away by force)
And when the illusion fades away and you leave the cave, you realise you don’t know what to do with the real world.
You eat a lot — till your limit in a short period of time,
then you splat this load of (bull)shit on a piece of paper.
After that, it’s all gone.
My Opinion: (Izzy is damn good at this — in more than one way)
Due to my egotistic nature, my examination preparation for english involves studying my past essays only. Hence, I shall be going in tomorrow with the knowledge of three books and three essays, namely Emotions, Climaxes and Narrative voice. Most of my english essays tend to overload into other less relevant areas, so… mix and match.
And we’ll see how the final one goes tomorrow, hopefully as fine as everything else (apart from a few careless loss of two to four marks here and there, but nothing enough to fret about)
You mobilise your economy and resource of time to prepare your ammunition beforehand. Translating raw material into war material as “resources”. Usually the one more mobilised with more resources will win.
You try to forge relationships to farm them for resources under “alliance”
You deprive yourself of civilian goods temporarily, with the hope of winning eventually under “leadership”. Usually there’s traditional propoganda to psyche yourself, if not traditional coercion.
At times there’s a two front war to divide yourself into.
and you throw as many smoke bombs as you can before scattergunning as part of “strategy” in a war of ATTRITION.
My Opinion: Oops, got too carried away — Effectively, how to do a win/lose essay.
A Game of Dice.
You put a lot of money in it with the hope of success.
There is a chance you lose.
There is a chance anything can happen.
If you’re lucky, you get to draw the number you want.
With a slight tinge of pride, having God is like having an unfair advantage at life etc. Be it in opportunities, result or even natural talent. I don’t give much regard for hard work, but even the will for work and the yield from work has to come from somewhere.
Essentially there are too many uncertainties beyond a person’s control (like drawing a lousy extract), that he has to place his trust on something greater — by that I do not mean a ritualistic attempt to keep all the commandments or self-righteous crap like no swearing. In my opinion, that would be like combing your hair for an examination. For those who don’t get it, combing your hair is not going to affect your grades.
which leaves a few unanswered questions (which I might want to bring up on the 15th of November)
- What about those who pray “harder” and go to church more but still end up with dogtiddies — what is the reason behind? Does this undermine the claim that prayer brings results?
- If the unfair advantage is supposedly from such an omnipotent source and fruitful in result, why do people not get flawless achievements instead?
- Why are there still the poor and hungry?
- How are those without God coping? (with sheer strength and brute force)
- What is the purpose of God giving? Is there anything an all-powerful God is seeking from mere worms?
- What then does it mean to “give back” to God? (I reckon that ANY church would say SERVE AND GIVE US YOUR MONEY, in a less explicit manner of course.)
To end with a more spiritual tone to compensate for the tone of rational criticism earlier, Jesus said in Matthew 11
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.“
Would sound like an appealing hard-to-refuse offer. If not for the additional burdensome conditions that people claim to be included like: if you go to church every sunday, give us a part of your money, keep all the commandments, don’t smoke and don’t say words like Fuck.
If you add visible and immediate costs to less visible (or should I say certain) and less immediate benefits, you turn rational people away. Otherwise it is an appealing and hard-to-refuse offer.
My supposed preparation for a three front war (if you count both histories as one front) — that is like a raid from the front door, back door and the window on top — is actually quite relaxed. Maybe it’s because I haven’t actually started on history paper two yet.
Not so much a colour, but a competition.
Not an attempt to outrun The Tiger, but to outrun the guy next to you.
A race against time with your pen, while maintaining legibility
You could be slow all year, as long as you run now and finish the sprint.
A flawed model of a real rat race.
My Opinion: Such a view is a bit too serious. In a few years, no one will give a toss if you “screwedup and got 41 points“. Maybe it is colour — like green, black and white. Though theirs would be a true race against The Tiger, a true dash for survival.
From here, I have a week to go with
- mathematical economics
- economic history
- historical biology (wtf???)
- biological literature
- my favorite word: linguistics
the Fifth of November.
tf– even with more sleep than usual, I’m burnt out from 2 hours in the hall with the last 45 minutes spent with no writing at all. Goes to show how ‘focused’ I am on those days I finish 3 of the same math papers in two hours without feeling any fatigue.
This despicable Pansy weakness is unacceptable and does not bode well for those days where i have 6 heavy papers in two days!
Looks like i have no choice but to just go wahchee tomorrow after first paper. (if not I might not last through the next two)
Ooh, it’s tomorrow.
1. I am now drug free and have gotten past the withdrawal stage of having watery… nevermind.
2. I am (still) attempting to reset my body clock to proper times to accomodate 7 to 8 hours of sleep at night.
3. In a semi-risky manner, I might be going in without studying Micro-economics — like for the past whole year so far. Ditto for color purple. On the grounds that I won’t do them even if i could. There are more risks I’ll be taking later, but till then.
No matter, seven days will soon be over like a passing dream, like an ice cube in hot tea, like a gust of flatulence dissipating — all before we know it.
(can’t even remember who wrote color purple.)
There are two things I need to stop doing:
Basically, I have this psychological quirk that I noticed I have — when reading other people’s essays, I tend to hear their voice in my head, even if its some senior whom i haven’t heard from for ages (like funnyguy), this also extends to people like izzy and other people in the class next door for their history essays. In the event where the writer cannot be identified (usually english), a related subject teacher’s voice, who is usually the marker, comes in instead. Lol, and I’m reading the econ mark scheme now. The voices!!! (One marker in particular very distinctly uses triple-exclamation marks often)
I hope I never have to read an essay by an annoying high-pitched girl. Hate..
Heh,this is almost bigotry for something people have no choice over ><
Oh, and I have two days to learn proper penmanship.
In light of my usual belief in environmentalism, I have embarked on a herculean production of written notes for three subjects (if you count wars, sps and china as one) on top of my usual scribbles in my many jotter books.
I should have started this earlier, like before the prelims — such that my task can be simplified to just reading instead of writing. No matter, I have latent Stakhanovite blood. In the manner of a bad anime, the stronger the opponent, the more power I can produce!!!
Though, the disturbing thing is — since I’m not applying for a tsung-li yamen Overseas Monies for Schooling… I don’t actually need my real grades for anything. — Then again, that’s what I said for prelims ><
Ooh, I just found a jotter book I used last end of year <3
The purpose of it all?
To have a bonfire on November 12.
Something to do after exams, just a quick reminder to myself that there is something on 12pm to 1.30pm on the first sunday after the exams (15 November) which I might want to try.
It will be like going to church, plus free food, minus the “churchliness” they claim — looking at topics of sin, pleasure, time, justice.
I expect it to be stimulating, entertaining and an avenue for my questions to be answered. Which means on the night of the 14th, I’ll make a check list.
If it’s good, I’ll learn something. If it’s bad, I’ll also learn something — my usual attitude to church going.
I think I should pretend to be either agnostic or homosexual or drug addict. Pretending to be a typical teenage “sex addict” who thinks he has a problem that will send him to eternal damnation is a bit too typical to entertain.
Hope the food’s good.
For a lazy person, I am surprisingly neat and hygienic — until recently (as in the neat part), I have five subjects on the floor in various piles. A table cluttered with paper, books, stationary and three different piles, unlike the almost entirely blank table I used to have, with space to put my legs.
I can’t stand this mess for much longer. I’ll throw out (or rather throw in, it’s like sweeping things under the carpet) in a bit more than ten days time. First, all math then all the history handouts (minus the photocopied readings at most). And all my jotter books, minus my secret non-school related ones (i THINK i have like near ten at present, some missing).
Surprisingly, I know my way around the mess quite well. It’s an organised mess. Still can’t wait to throw most of the things away!
I tend to think that God created Man and by extension, the strength and wisdom that Man possesses to create other things, is a creation of God as well. How then do we account for the bad things in the world made by a good God? Satan perverted it. It’s a fallen world. I hear the line quite often, usually for Music.
God created music, Satan perverted it and gave rock metal!!!
God created literature, Satan perverted it and wrote erotica.
God created sex, Satan perverted it and made an Industry.
God created the world, Satan perverted it and made examinable subjects.
God created Satan — I think he perverted himself somehow.
but Satan created Math.
In essence, I vaguely recall a lecture on Music the last time I went to Church — which by extension of logic, almost implies we can only listen to glorification music. (As you can tell by now, basically I find practical lectures which don’t provide any revelation but instead imposes further rules to be mundane, banal and inconsequential, at best a thought provoking strawman)
And what i cannot understand is how “instrumental” like say, electric guitar can be regarded as demonic by some people — I mean, people have a problem with “Christian Metal”. I’ve no idea what that is but — surely people must look deeper within right?
Maybe unless the songs explicitly worship satan or something, but that’s obvious enough, churches barely talk about these — it’s the grey areas they need to step in, and it’s the grey areas that even they’re uncertain about. I mean, Beatles was raised as an example since they visited an Indian Guru.
Basically you pick up parts which God didn’t write about (say for instance smoking), use a vague catch- all term, and then stretch your beliefs. What I really don’t get is why intrude even to the smallest things like music.
Apart from The Industry which I voiced my clear-cut practical objections about previously, the other things mentioned above like erotica (I present to you Exhibit A: Songs of Solomon) and examinable subjects (which clearly satirises it all), are about just as grey as music.
And if you want to see a rock concert with men in long hair energetically jumping around a Tokyo stage:
Strangely, I’ve been having the hymn Higher Ground in my head for some time today.