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The gods had condemned Sisyphus to ceaselessly rolling a rock to the top of a mountain, whence the stone would fall back of its own weight. They had thought with some reason that there is no more dreadful punishment than futile and hopeless labor.
Previously when I went for the six-set series of lectures cum intellectual discussion on Christianity, the Myth of Sisyphus was used to illustrate the purposelessness of life — in particular, the kind of the typical urban salaryman, to point out that everything in life was temporal therefore meaningless. I disagreed with this because life was more than just wakeupgoworksleepwakeupgowork….
But of late I saw the reality of Sisyphus in something supposedly meant to represent discipline and order. And this is how it sounds:
“Left, right, left, right, left — turn around (in the Aboriginal language)
Left, right, left, right, left — turn around (again)
Left, right, left, right, left — turn around…….”
Now, that is Sisyphian. But at least time is on our side and seems to be sprinting through this period (when I previously had length of days).
This much I observed while spending the two hours resting in the shade sipping cold water.
***
Heh, the myth of Sissypuss.
I think my “long” dutiful and servile disappearance (you assholes!), depending on how you define “long” has led to a gradual forgetting of my existence. After all, I didn’t see my mum last week since I got home past midnight on saturday and she was out the whole day the next day. I spend a bit too many late nights out — depending on how you define “too many”
This morning I went to her study room and asked “whafurwunch?” (what’s for lunch) and she had a rude shock, the kind as if you saw a ghost pop out from behind -_-
***
Now I know why they bought that dog.
IF you could get the many things you don’t care about but the few things you value and yearn for, you cannot get — isn’t it sad?
The cynic wold say that’s part of human nature: to only want the things you cannot get.
Of course, the above sentiment isn’t mine. I always insist that the grass is greener on My side, that I am superior — if not, satisfied and content with whatever I have.
It was from a friend whom I cared about and spent one morning (one rare morning of the scarce free time I have) with, you assholes!. It did not concern me in anyway, but somehow dampened my mood for quite a while. Somehow.
It left me thinking for quite a while, subtly and not-so-subtly. All I can say is, “what is that to me?” (especially when it didn’t concern me, I must really care for her..) and at the same time, “Everything will be okay…I hope“
Or as the Zen master Hakuin said, “Is that so?”
[...]
On a happier note, I moved on later in the afternoon to my next location where I had italian beef and mushrooms, thai mango rice dessert, protein shake (without the protein, since I think that it is UNHEALTHY), and a glass of german beer — all for the price of S$0.00, without me forking out a single-cent of my non-existent salary that has yet to arrive, you assholes!
<3 as usual.
***
Weighing the two, its quite obvious to see why it was still a good day overall.
You know that common saying that workerholics (and at times, game addicts) have: “I can sleep all the hell I want when I’m dead” or the more lyrical “there will be sleep enough in the grave”?
Right now I am burning sleep for supposed reasons of freedom and leisure. ive been awake from 0530, soon 24 hours would have been over without a wink, before proceeding to survive another 16 hours — in total roughly 40 hours. I might suffer throughout the day or I might be in a semi-druggie state for the day. Better worse still, I might fall ill.
And the reason I am doing this is because my time now is more valuable and needs to be milked dry (Like maximising toilet paper — I VERY CHINESE)
I can sleep all the hell I want when I am in -
***
Of course my health might take a toll — to quote Schopenhauer,
“Sleep is the interest we have to pay on the capital which is called in at death; and the higher the rate of interest and the more regularly it is paid, the further the date of redemption is postponed.”
which makes sense as an analogy. And as a second-tier argument, even if i were to fall sick now…… heh.
But right now, in a time of war, priorities are misshapened. Money is secondary to time and health in the long term is secondary to freedom. What people normally value more has swapped around because of circumstances.
Its like how I’d throw away diamonds for water in a desert.
- You’re initially very excited about it as a new Boy’s toy, and then after a while, the excitement dies down.
- It is very light to carry at first, after a while, it gets heavier — its like it puts on weight.
- You need to take it with you where-ever you go
- No sharing with other guys (LOL)
- You get to need to learn how to strip it in a given period of time
- Remember to always put to SAFE unless you want an ACCIDENT
- Before actual shooting, the finger should always be on the outside of the, nevermind
- It is a CHARGABLE OFFENSE not to lubricate.
- NEGLIGENT (EARLY) DISCHARGE before you’re told to do so and you’re Screwedddd.
****
I really have no idea what they mean by Treat Rifle Like Wife, but thus far I have 1) changed rifle four times and 2) chuck it in a locked cupboard for most of the day.
I think it might be funnier to compare Rifle to something else.
TREAT YOUR RIFLE LIKE YOUR –
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theme parks — a land of fantasy cut away from the rest of the world, where the Owners of the theme park set their own rules and a dimension, which follows one running theme completely distinct from real life, is created. Think Jurassic Park, think Disneyland, think Tek-
SHIT I CANT BELIEVE ITS TRUE.
It is quite fun and most of the deprivations are manageable.
And the deprivation that is less bearable — does more good than harm i think.
Ah i feel so loved by the small select group of people around me (:
All the phone calls, emails and smses from various people — some i talk to often, some not so.
Mostly unexpected either way, and thoughtful of them, these nice gestures I appreciate .
(For some reason, they mostly involve a component of asking me to stay alive. Ye men of little faith -_-)
[...]
And HOW do I respond and show my gratitude?
1. I cut people off on the phone (cos I am busy with other people on the phone also)
2.I take forever to reply smses (cos I am on the phone…)
3. I don’t reply to most of the SMSes (cos I swapped my SIM card to the crap-ass NS phone, which I’m still having trouble getting used to, and has a different inbox entirely)
Oh well. The last lecture before entering was useful though — I have things to prepare tomorrow.
And as I always say “This too shall pass”. Time is on my side, BITCHES — My new phone however is not on my side and is quite a bitch.
****
Conversation with beulah (refer to previous post):
“eh i’m going holiday tomorrow”
“huh, but don’t you have NS…where are you going?”
- some time before I cut her off, sorry =\
Stressed and need a break from people, applications and work?
I got just the thing for you — a two week Island holiday off the coast of Singapore.
This getaway from the hustle and bustle of everyday life is an opportunity for you to return to nature and meditate on the meaning of life!
What could be more enjoyable than spending the day eating, exercising, sleeping and making new friends?
We guarantee that we will look after your physical well being and put you into shape!
In addition, there will be a guided tour of the island by our trained instructor.
Especially for those who are tired of decision making and ten years of using your brain, this is a chance for your mind to take a holiday. There will be no difficult decisions for you to make whatsoever — you will have the privilege for all dilemmas to be solved for you.
Don’t you think that two weeks is not enough? Take our seven-week package: Come back for more the week after and the week after and the week after and the week after and the week after.
Partly due to what the coho told me about this chinese girl who’s going to get married soon and partly due to me running into some russian people (wtf?) in town lately:
Inductive reasoning develops a generalisation from various instance of facts — for some certain reason, I think that when an angmoh guy likes a chinese girl, it is hardly a compliment to the girl.
As for angmoh girl liking chinese guy — seems unheard of. Then again, absence of evidence is not evidence of absence!
Very mean and harsh generalisations — but generalisations take the average. Of course there are exceptions — I say this lest some get offended. If you do read this, just assume you’re a special exception and treasure your scarce experience. (I always assume I’m an exception)
Pause. Is this racially offensive…? Nah, haven’t offended any of the offendable ones yet.
[...]
“Veblen good is not quite the right term in this case right?”
“Giffen good?”
” Uh….more like niche market”
I just downloaded like close to 200 eBooks on a wide array of topics.
Realistically speaking, I probably won’t go through all of it even in an entire lifetime (-_-). But i now know what to do if ever i need/want to slack in office.
AND ITS ALL FREE. OH -imdoingmychineseancestryproud- YES
This means it will be some time before I hit the bookstore. Not to mention that most of the books in the bookstores are available from the library anyway. It’s the chinese books that can’t be found in the library (partly cos i dunno how to search chinese) — but those are dirt cheap; from half the price of normal books to 3 for $10 kind of thing.
If it takes up space and money unnecessarily, I have no idea why I/people still buy books. Might be a DOMINATION ownership thing — like collecting stamps.
New year’s day is perhaps the only time when I go home after midnight and I don’t actually feel alone on my way walking home.
Also, the Inner Jew dictated that I drained my newly topped up concession card to $1.30 knowing that it expires on the last day of the year — after which, i probably won’t bother going out until I need to Go In.
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