You are currently browsing the monthly archive for May 2011.
Warning: not for the faint of heart, and pretentious sanctimonious people who dislike crude content (or at least like to outwardly express disapproval…then laugh about it quietly).
Today I found out why boxers are banned: it might result in the left and right swapping places during the obstacle course.
Remember the movie Home Alone? Now picture the face and scream of one of the robbers as he falls into one of the kid’s traps. Add that to the mental image of walking around with your tangling left and right arms crossed over and knotted for a longgg time. Given how hard it is for the right and left to swap, I’m guessing that its even harder to manually swap it back ><
A twisted knee is probably more painful and disabling actually — but I’d still rather a twisted knee. Plus, your friends (and even girlfriend) probably won’t laugh at you for having a twisted knee….not to mention, medical officer, as he tries to verify how true it is, while maintaining the straight (and stifled) face of professionalism.
****
Note: I DID NOT discover this through personal experience — if it isn’t already OBVIOUS that I don’t do obstacle courses (apart from some stupid short cut i used to take)
May 22, 2011: I woke up this morning thinking “ah, shit. i didn’t get raptured. time to face the fury of seven horsemen and a big ass earthquake…or kill myself to take the Express Lane to heaven“. As I considered mixing 100 pills of codeine with a full bottle of baileys to reach heavenly highness, I thought it was a bit too peaceful. So I went online and looked at the news: oh, the world didn’t end. surprise, surprise. I find it suspicious how quickly the articles were written. they were probably written beforehand and just waiting for a push of a button — like this post.
Studying
GOOD: Yay, I spent the past week resting instead of preparing for my tests that’s after rapture. (:
BAD: I still have to take the test. aghhh ):
WORSE: fuck, now i have extra work to rush ))):
I’m joking. My past week of not doing any preparation is due to other reasons. A bit regrettable, but I am going to do a fair bit today — enough to compensate for the past few days! (Or at least I’d BETTER) The impact on a student is quite minor though, compared to……
Life priorities
GOOD: Stopping all the things you don’t like to do and focusing only on the things you would want to do. people actually quit their job to spend time with family (:
BAD: Spending your last days on earth still doing things you don’t Realllyyy want to do — like walking around with a Judgment Day board — just so you think you can redeem yourself from your petty sins ):
WORSE: Realising afterwards that you missed out on a month’s of wages doing free labour by walking around with Judgment Day shirts that can’t be worn anymore. ))):
BETTER: Cynics get to wear all these May 21 2011 shirts around town 
Economy
GOOD: Spending all your savings that would soon to be worthless stimulates the economy — and you might have only been eating luxuriously for the past month. Maybe even borrowed a heck lot to rent an Audi and suite for a month (:
BAD: Realising on May 22 2011 that you have no life savings. Maybe even a lot of debt since you thought that if you were raptured, you wouldn’t need to pay back your debts. Damn, you should have just bought that IPad 2 and Blackberry ):
WORSE: Fuck, all this WASTED money could have been spent on the poor, the homeless and the needy RIGHT? ))):
BETTER: Being on the receiving end of this mindless spending — having conned a lot of money from pet owners
Religiosity
GOOD: The impending end raised awareness about Christianity, encouraged conversions and increased religious fervor. (:
BAD: The increased fervor dies instantly after May 22 2011. ):
WORSE: The Bible and Christianity as a whole is discredited, believers in the end lose their faith, atheists win. I mean, since you’re so sure of your calcuations being right, it must just mean the source you based your calculations upon is wrong ))):
BETTER: Religious dogmatism is again proven to be stupid, therefore wrong.
Vices and moral behaviour
GOOD: Abstaining from mindless debauchery, among other vices, for the past few months — lest you be judged for it. (: ….(although I think some people double up on their mindless debauchery and vices upon thinking the end is near -_-)
BAD: Abstaining from mindless debauchery, among other vices, for the past few months — all the stuff you wanted to do, but didn’t do. ):
WORSE: All the mindless debauchery and flood of vices you’re going to rush into to compensate for lost time ))):
BETTER: Understanding the magic of DELAYED GRATIFICATION
****
I wonder if people really burned all their life savings though — after all, the cult leader guy did say that not everyone had a chance of going. Fancy burning your savings…and not get selected.
Actually, the trauma on the misguided believers might not be as bad. Stanford psychology professor Leon Festinger did a study on a cult group expecting a UFO doomsday to arrive in 1956. He found that fervor might increase, rather than decrease because of cognitive dissonance.
The contradiction of the world ending on the one hand, and life carrying on as normal on the other, would nag the brain into manufacturing a renewed, even stronger, commitment to the cause — so as to reduce the tension between subjective and objective reality, and restore psychological harmony.
And isn’t there an easy way around if you didn’t get raptured and was too lazy to survive the devastation (i can’t see any other reason not to want to survive but…) — kill yourself.
But the fact of the matter is that given a choice, human beings instinctively will pick life over rapture — much like how they would pick life over death, even if they expect heaven ahead (extremists aside — must be because of the 72 raisins…i mean, virgins). The world isn’t a wretched place. We live in a beautiful but ephemeral world. Heaven is an eternity, life is only once.
I don’t believe in a literal end of the world, let alone predicting an end date. After all, many things in the bible are metaphorical. But if there were to be one, maybe that’s why some people won’t get raptured — because they value the world too much. God gives a choice and we choose the physical world. There are worldly things we cling onto, from money to friends and family, and even pets, or the more intangible things like success and ambition. In which case, I think buddhist monks and ascetics have a higher chance of rapture. Irony.
That said, I want one of those May 21 2011 shirts to wear around town. It is at least less incorrect than arranging a set of old clothes and shoes at the roadside to make it look like i disappeared…
Bones, sinking like stones,
All that we fought for,
And homes, places we’ve grown,
All of us are done for.
****
i wasnt particularly impressed by the plot. i did feel that it was draggy and unengaging at times. but it has been three days and i still remember some scenes quite clearly. it’s almost as if i wouldn’t mind rewatching some parts.
i guess thats what a meaningful movie means. i guess thats what art means.
It was after my routine swim. Normally I would be by myself, if not with just one to two others, but I was accompanied by four others today. The bunch of us were in the shower (separate showers of course) when one Lin said to the other Lin (not related):
“怎么你那东西、那么小？哪里来得“
i’m guessing that they were talking about a shampoo bottle. quote of the day man.
***
I think in a decade or two, the local soldier might well be a minority.
Heading : Academic Discussion
From : JIN XU Date : 07-Feb-2010 01:44 PM
Topic : merger with China
Hi all,I just wonder if there is a possibility for Sg to merge with China, since so many people here are Chinese in race, and a strong hinterland of the Chinese mainland is obviouly beneficial for the singapore’s economy. Why not Singapore just assume Hong Kong’s module and join China, while maintain its self-governorship?
something is ludicruous about this comment. I’m just not sure WHAT EXACTLY.
hrmmm, maybe it’s the missing s from ‘obviously’. Maybe China can might as well take over all the other yellow skinned countries like Japan, Korea and Vietnam to make an omega United States of Asia.
After procrastinating for two years, i FINALLY got down to watching Garden State on my humble ten-inch screen. I wouldn’t have even noticed this indie movie if it didn’t star Zach Braff and Natalie Portman. Essentially, since it was written, directed and acted by the Scrubs lead — the movie was somewhat like an extended Scrubs episode, minus the typical J.D. narration. To be fair, it was more sentimental than that — probably feeling more like a Hanif Kureishi short story.
But I tend to find it funnily suspicious when the main actor and director/producer/script-writer is the same guy.
"Thank you Lord for casting me... 
"
So the director gets to select who gets to be his lead actress (who happens to be Jewish too, not to mention extremely famous!) and what they do — might as well throw in a few more intimate scenes. (Ditto Jiang Wen in Let the Bullets Fly. )
***
You changed my life. You changed my life, and I’ve known you four days. This is the start of something really big, but right now, I gotta go.
As usual, there’s a questionable gap in the plot: how did all these happen all so fast in a mere four days ? (maybe its an american thing) And why did he even bother meeting some random girl he met at a Head clinic for the little time he has in his hometown?
(maybe its just cos she’s natalie)
***
P.S: that look to the heavens, wink, and mouth “thank you” thing? one fine day i’m going to do that. just wait.
‘Sometimes,’ she said, ‘they threaten you with something — something you can’t stand up to, can’t even think about. And then you say, “Don’t do it to me, do it to somebody else, do it to So-and-so.” And perhaps you might pretend, afterwards, that it was only a trick and that you just said it to make them stop and didn’t really mean it. But that isn’t true. At the time when it happens you do mean it. You think there’s no other way of saving yourself, and you’re quite ready to save yourself that way. You want it to happen to the other person. You don’t give a damn what they suffer. All you care about is yourself.’
- George Orwell, Nineteen Eighty-Four
I think I’m starting to understand what LC meant when he said that classics contain ideas about mankind. Nineteen Eighty-Four is quite well written. Although it starts off in a draggy manner, it picks up pace in the Part II before reaching the most exciting Part III.
***
- ” We shall abolish the orgasm. Our neurologists are at work upon it now.”
- (also, i noticed that george orwell likes to use the word breast, even when chest might be more appropriate some times.)
It was a typical day in office. High ranking middle aged men in green sat around nearby working away on their computers, occasionally referring to maps. A cluster of not-so-high ranking and not-so-middle aged men sat not too far away working away on their Nintendo DS, while making a lot of idle chatter. And there I was trying to do some Primary Five level math, with my music player plugged into the com speakers — shamelessly playing Taylor Swift, and of course adding into the idle chatter despite trying to simulate ‘test conditions’.
That’s when I realised that “If this was a movie” isn’t grammatical. It should be “If this were a movie” because it is a speculation.
I hate these grammar rules btw — they is like table manners. Like table manners, grammar rules are a mere annoyance. Like table manners, grammar rules are merely accessory, adding nothing to the meal. The food on the table is more important than the layout of forks and spoons. The meaning conveyed is more important than trivial details about the arrangment of words. After all, language is decided by a society, rather than a fixed book of rules.
At least she didn’t say something like “Never say never” — and then I realise I said it twice.
***
Funnily, I don’t have my Stranglehold ringtone in my mp3 player. If it started playing in office, I wonder if it would confuse me and make me reach for my phone instinctively.
Anything could be true. The so-called laws of Nature were nonsense. The law of gravity was nonsense. ‘If I wished,’ O’Brien had said, ‘I could float off this floor like a soap bubble.’ Winston worked it out. ‘If he thinks he floats off the floor, and if I simultaneously think I see him do it, then the thing happens.’ Suddenly, like a lump of submerged wreckage breaking the surface of water, the thought burst into his mind: ‘It doesn’t really happen. We imagine it. It is hallucination.’ He pushed the thought under instantly. The fallacy was obvious. It presupposed that somewhere or other, outside oneself, there was a ‘real’ world where ‘real’ things happened. But how could there be such a world? What knowledge have we of anything, save through our own minds? All happenings are in the mind. Whatever happens in all minds, truly happens.
- George Orwell, Nineteen Eighty-Four
Yes, I told myself that the new is not going to come until the old goes. This old phone stays until the end of the year, unless it disappears beforehand — then i’ll change to the phone I want – Only if the old goes first. (but it was almost as though i am actually wanting it to go)
Recently, I had a few dreams where I either deliberately lose my current phone or more vividly — I throw my phone into the swimming pool. of course, I replace my old secondhand phone (with wonky audibility and a small screen which sucks for surfing the net) with a brand new blackberry.
Perhaps my subconscious really wants to kill my old phone, just to replace it with a blackberry. Perhaps its cos of my friend (and his boss too -_-) from work who keeps saying that I should throw it away. Or maybe even perhaps I’ve been visiting the pool too much lately.
I really should get rid of it and upgrade if I’m not satisfied. It’s the only right thing to do. But I am almost trying to convince myself that I can be satisfied with it for now at least. Maybe I almost am. Hypothetically, I would have even been fine with putting all my callers on loudspeaker, if I didn’t want something more. If the new didn’t come, the old wouldn’t go.
Furthermore, there is so much trouble if I were to upgrade now. Either I buy one without a camera or I remove a camera (for a small fee) and put it back again later (for a small fee). The best course of action is actually to just bring it in anyway — which leads to the question of, do I a) just cover and concealthe camera or b) hide it and hold two phones at once.
The end date isn’t much longer — just half a year more and I could be walking around with a camera phone. I could live with it.
Nonetheless, my mind is still plagued by this blackberry dream.
Actually, I wonder if its due to all my (acsi) friends having one. Unlikely though, I’ve been wanting one for months before those around me started getting them one by one. Actually, it doesnt even have to be a blackberry. Just no iphone because I hate touch screens and touchscreens hate me.
***
Been thinking about three frivolously materialistic things that I’ve been delaying for a long time: phone, laptop, and a game. More about those soon. Heck, I think most people would have just upgraded by now.
While back in school to jew free resources (as I have always been doing), I heard that the Environmentally Friendly Girls (EFG) in school has been having an increasing number of ruggers joining — cos they are lacking in the Creativity component for CAS hours. (Not surprising.)
So picture two typical ruggers making a morning announcement about their latest go-green project. …Environmentalists are so tokenistic these days – or just hypocritical.
plus some unis (like lse) might have a liking for efg!
Nice idea though.
That said, I think I ought to be more concerned about the environment soon — for surface-level, or rather, pragmatic reasons.
stupid global warming.
***
but before you listen to those HYSTERICAL extremists who’ll urge you not to turn on the aircon, here are three practical suggestions:
1. Use your office air-con. Corporate aircon is free and fixed regardless of the number of people in the same office. Go home later – Do Overtime.
2. Go to a shopping centre. The argument above applies.
The above two suggestions in fact marry environmental goals with economic ones — it encourages people to 1. stay longer in office to work harder, thus stimulating economic growth on the supply side and 2. spend money in shopping centres, thus stimulating economic growth on the demand-side. Of course, they might just be idling in the office or just looking at girls in a shopping centre (in summer attire), but it increases the probability that they get hit by a work arrow or some bargain catches their eye — more so than staying at home at least.
Suggestion 3: Balls to aircon, go swimming.
(bloody hell, the workplace at pool just HAD TO be closed for maintenance 
. Something about scooping out leaked sand from the pool — i guess we must bear in mind what organisation is in charge of my pool -_-)
I shall begin this post with some artful and creative emo teenage poetry that is quite typical of emo teenage blogs, with generally little form, no specific subject and no intelligent content — apart from an overflow of directionless youthful frustration, of course. Of course…
I’m Very Emo
Four days endured,
and I heave a sigh.
Five days without,
I want to cry.
One more day,
and I’m going to DIE.
(No, seriously)
READ: CORKBLORK @#$%^!!
Its like the universe works in a mysterious way: you spend the entire morning debating with yourself about whether to spend two hours swimming or two hours on other important preparations.
You’d like to convince yourself that you’re way too long-weekend-blues sleepy to be productive and that going for a good long two hour swim will up your productivity and HENCE aid your preparations.
On this flimsy logic, you change into your trunks underneath and make your way to the spanking-new-chalet-resort-like pool nearby –only to find it with a big CLOSED sign at the gate. The long-awaited antidote to a tuesday blues after a four day weekend has been dashed. End of story.
The next fifteen minutes in office is then spent grouchy and dissatisfied — as the wise author of Proverbs wrote: “Hope deferred makes the heart sick“. That must be how it feels like to get rejected.
***
what were you expecting the poem (or post even) to be about? How serious were you expecting it to be? …Probably just about as serious as whatever issue behind any other emo blog -_-
Oh, and change the poem title to Constipation — there’s actually more to come, but it hasn’t come out yet.
Recent Comments